It's loud in here

There is no doubt that our house is a loud one. Indoor voices seem to be a foreign concept for our toddlers. Then add in baby cries and peace and quiet seems to be the Holy Grail of  my day.

This weekend we had Bob's family over for dinner. Luckily, it was a smaller crowd than normal because the kids were LOUD. The excitement was too much for them to handle and despite trying to keep them under control, the noise level was quite extreme. It didn't help that Kenley was having a hard time nursing and settling down. So between trying to host, cook dinner, control 2 toddlers, and take care of a newborn, Bob and I were stretched pretty thin.

As Bob's single, no children brothers left a bit earlier than normal, I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit remembering when Bob and I would do the same thing at my sister's house. The noise alone use to exhaust us. We couldn't focus through the chaos. It is something non-parents just aren't use to. And as a parent of loud toddlers, I total understand that.

Now the chaos to me just seems like any other day. The noise level is like music to my ears. I am so use to it that I've tuned it out.

A home full of toddlers is chaotic. No matter how well behaved your children might be (and mine are far from perfect), they are loud, demanding little beings. It is something that you have to embrace with 3 under 3 or you will go insane.

Having children is the best most exhausting thing I will ever do in my life, but (as everyone knows) the smiles, hugs, giggles, cuddles, etc. make everything 100% worth it. Plus, there is always nap time and bed time to maintain my sanity. A sleeping child means a happy parent.

Ruffle Top without the Ruffles

For past 3 weeks, I've stared at the fabric I bought in preparation for Kids Clothes Week that I wasn't able to finish because I had Kenley. A good excuse, but still that fabric has been haunting me and wanting to be sewn. And the project that I wanted to complete more than anything else was the Ruffle Top by Elegance and Elephants.

Have you noticed that I keep gravitating toward blue floral fabrics for most of my sewing projects?  I can't really explain why other than that seems to be my style, and luckily, Maisie is too young to protest. 

I had seen a few versions of this pattern circulating through a few of the sewing blogs I follow and fell in love. And the best part is that I won this pattern from Petit à Petit & Family. The funny part is that I had not even remembered signing up for the giveaway when I was emailed that I won. I was actually going to buy the pattern that week. I was pretty excited that I won. I have been dying to sew it for Maisie. It was obviously the first project I wanted to get done after having Kenley. 

I tried out two new sewing techniques while completely this project. The first was creating my own bias tape to cap off each of the sleeves. It was not as hard or as scary as I thought it would be and now I know I can do it. I can check it off my sewing milestone list. 

The other was sewing piping into a seam. The original pattern calls for ruffles along the panel seams, but I choose to use store-bought piping instead like a few variations I saw online. I love how the orange pops against the blue floral. 

Please no judging me on my horrible sewing around the keyhole packet. This picture is to show how I lined the bodice, and of course, seems to highlight my lazy sewing as well. 

I also liked a more open collar than what the original pattern calls for, so I in order to create that I just created a bodice lining with the center panel of the front and the back. I sewed the outer back and front to the lining back and front, respectively, before I began the patterns tutorial.

The pattern and tutorial were very easy to follow. I had a little trouble figuring out the sleeves, but I blame that on my sewing inexperience. I also would have liked the pattern sizes to be color coded instead of different black dash lines, but again that is just a personal choice. Piecing the pattern together and cutting it out was very straight forward.

I am very happy to be sewing again and I am really happy to have finally completed this top for Maisie.

Toddlers are the best (sarcasm implied)

Tantrums, whining, battles, struggles, giggles, pure joy, snuggles, singing, playing, dancing, hugging, yelling, time outs.

And that basically describes Calan right now. Over the last few days or so, we have really seen an increase of misbehavior and whining. OH THE WHINING.

Very little appeases him, anything small or large can set him off, everything is either high or low and nothing in between. We are absolutely sure that this is all stemming from the changes going on in our family because Kenley is here.

He is absolutely wonderful around Kenley. He loves tickling her toes and singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star to her, but I can tell that he is having a hard time adjusting too.

I just think that he can't quite process what is going, so he is having a hard time figuring out and handling all the emotions that he is feeling right now. It is all pretty understandable and Bob and I are trying to deal with it the best we can, but trying to help an unpleasable child is exhausting.

Here is a typical conversation right now:

Me: Calan, do you want your train?
Calan (instant tears and whining voice): No, I don't want my train.
Me: OK, what would you like?
Calan (more tears and much louder whiny voice): I want my train.

It's a blast.

Bob and I are hoping he settles down and this phase passes quickly. To say we are tired of this unhappy Calan, might be an understatement. We know that we need to remain patient and understanding while he adjusts. Hopefully as long as we can help him feel secure in our new family, this whiny, unpleasant Calan will disappear as quickly as he came.

Did any of you have this issue with siblings? How did you deal with it? How long did it last?

This was definitely on of the perks having Calan and Maisie so close in age. Calan adjust instantly to Maisie. This time we weren't so lucky.

Thank you my 3 debacles

Dear my 3 loves,

I love you. There are no better words than that. You are amazing little people and I am so in love with each of you.

You are not perfect. You don't always listen. Bedtimes are a complete debacle. You don't eat all your veggies (or any at all for that matter). Your energy and ability to exhaust me is amazing. You have lots of needs. You are pretty demanding. You whine a lot. You are debacles.

But, you are completely wonderful. You brighten my day everyday. Your hugs and kisses are cures for everything. Your smiles and giggles are contagious. You make life better in every way.

There is no doubt in my mind that I was meant to be your mom. I have been good at a few things in my life, but nothing ever felt so natural and so right as being your mom. I am not a perfect mom and I am sure I am screwing you up some how, but I know that I am doing exactly what I was meant to do by being your mom.

I am truly blessed to be here watching you all grow into pretty amazing little people.

I watch Calan with his tender heart and beam with pride. I watch Maisie be fearless and determined and smile knowing she will always hold her own in the world. I watch Kenley observe us all and can't wait to see who she becomes.

You guys are crazy personalities, but you are mine. You guys are one of a kind. I see your daddy and me in each and everyone of you and truly think you are the best versions of each of us.

We love being a family. Your dad and I have loved each other for years and dreamt of our family and you guys are better than anything we ever dreamed. Our family is crazy, but we love being a family.

The first words I spoke to each of you were "I'm your mommy" because that is who I am. I am proud to be defined as a mother. I know that is who I was meant to be.

You guys light up my world.

This weekend is Mother's Day. I am sure that our day will look pretty much like any other day with 7 a.m. wake-ups and little people demanding breakfast, but I will smile knowing that you guys make this day for me by just being you. I am proud to be your mother.

Heaven blew every trumpet 

And played every horn 

On the wonderful, marvelous 

Night you were born.

Love, 

Mommy

The Kenley Marie Story

My baby is a week old today. Time, to me, is a funny thing. It never changes, but yet never feels constant. A minute is a minute, right? But yet those last weeks of pregnancy take forever to be over, and those first days go by in a blink of an eye.

I am sitting here in a quiet house with my baby sleeping and my children off to the zoo with their dad. It is almost feeling a bit surreal. But what better time to actually sit down and remember Kenley's birthday.

As I alluded to in previous posts, we started to notice some questionable behavior of her heart at my last doctor appointment. Nothing that was exactly wrong, but it wasn't right either. Basically, she would have moments that her heart rate would be high and moments when it would be low, and some how those were the moments that they were checking me, which lead to more testing.

My wonderful husband, wonderful doctor, and wonderful (amazing) nurse.

At my last doctor's appointment on April 19, we heard her heart rate decelerate, so they sent me over to the hospital to be monitored. She was fine, I was fine, so we were sent home to follow up with a non-stress test on Monday.

So Monday, I went to my test and while she was pretty excited and moving around, the nurse felt that I was good to go. However, that evening around 4:30, she called me and said that the fetal monitoring doctor thought I should come in to be monitored again to make sure. I headed back to the hospital around 5 to be monitored again, and again, I was good, baby was good, I was not anymore dilated than I was on Friday. Home I went with my next non-stress test and ultrasound scheduled for Thursday morning.

Life was pretty normal Tuesday and Wednesday. And then with Bob watching the kids, I walked into the hospital Thursday morning feeling like today was not the day and I would be going home after a quick ultrasound and test. I was wrong,

Her lungs definitely were strong. I was so happy once she settled down. 

My bio-physical ultrasound went well. Baby looked good, She measured well and was doing everything she was suppose to be doing. Yeah. Then I headed to my non-stress test to monitor her movements, heart rate, and my contractions. Well, that did not go so well. She was CRAZY active and her heart rate was again all over the place. Again, this was not exactly a bad thing, but it wasn't a good thing either. She just would not settle down enough for them to find a baseline heart rate.

So the doctor came in and said Kenley's eviction was here. It was my due date and this was my third test with issues. It was time. I am pretty sure I looked like a deer in headlights. When he used the word induced, I am pretty sure my skin crawled and my stomach turned. This was the last thing that I wanted.

Phone calls were made, I was checked into labor and delivery, and I was realizing how not ready I was for all of this. Panic was striking.

Luckily, when the resident doctor came in, we were able to talk a little more about the situation and set up a game plan that I was way more comfortable with than just inducing me with drugs.

Because I was so far along and I was having regular braxton hicks contractions, we were going to monitor me and see if I went into labor by myself before my doctor arrived that evening around 7:30 and if I didn't, we would start with just breaking my water and hold off completely on using pitocin till or if it was necessary. That plan was perfect for me. It meant a long boring day at the hospital, but it gave me time to calm down and relax.

She definitely had a grump face right from the beginning.
Now, she seems happier about life. 

Well, I never went into labor by myself, but my contractions did grow a bit stronger and continued to be very regular. At 8:10 p.m., we broke my water. It was game on.

As my husband and doctor sat and watched the NFL Draft (yes, that really happened), I began to go into labor. I quickly got an epidural since I knew once again, this would be a short labor, but a painful one none-the-less. I am no super woman, so I had an epidural with all 3 of my children.

This time the epidural did leave a little pain on my right side, which I actually didn't mind because it let me know that I was still contracting and that she was moving down quickly.

At about 10, for some reason, my monitor was not picking up my contractions, so my doctor thought my labor had stalled. He threw around that Pitocin word again, and again, I looked like a deer in headlights. I knew I was contracting, my nurse knew I was contracting, I was contracting.

Thank heavens for my wonderful, wonderful nurse. I can not tell you how amazingly wonderful she was to me. She listened to everything I said and really helped me have the delivery that I wanted under the circumstances.

We convinced my doctor to check me in 30 minutes if I had not progressed than we would pull out the drugs.

Snug as a bug and ready to head home. 

Well, that 30 minutes never happened. Just after my doctor left the room, the pressure in my right hip increased tenfold. My nurse checked me and I was complete and ready to have a baby.

My doctor came in announcing he was wrong and let's have a baby.

He had me push once and I got a half push in before he yelled for me to stop because she was there and crowning and they were not ready. They scrambled and I struggled to hold in the girl we had been waiting to meet.

Literally, 2 half pushes, not a single full push, later, Miss Kenley Marie was laying on my chest. My tiny little peanut arrived at 10:36 p.m. April 25 just 2.5 hours after they broke my water. No pitocin needed.

She came into this word a bit feisty crying for about the first hour with nothing settling her down. I just kept hearing that "Look Who's Talking" movie line "put me back in, put me back in" as she was telling me she was not ready to be here.

But she was here and we could not have been happier. A bit freaked out by the crying wondering what we got ourselves into, but immensely happy to have completed our family with this tiny nugget.

And she is little. She weighed 6 pounds 14 ounces and measured 18 inches long. That is about a pound less and 2 inches shorter than her brother and sister.

She has barely made a peep since her first hour of life. She is eating well and sleeping decently. I am loving every moment of her.

The one thing I have learned is that no delivery is the same, and no delivery is what you have planned. I am just glad I never had a baby on the expressway and my children at home were well taken care of. Despite having quick labors, I was always able to have enough time to figure everything out, which is what my husband always reassured me would happen. (Though it didn't help that my friend had her son 5 days earlier on I-275, thanks Kelli.)

Calan came into the room so excited telling me that Baby Kenley was here and asking did I see her. Maisie, however, is just now warming up to her. She wanted to stay about 5 feet away at all times. 

Our bad attempt at a self picture before we left the hospital Saturday Morning. 

I am a little baby obsessed with how little she is. I never thought I'd have a baby in the 10-25th  percentile since everyone else was 50-75th. She seems so little in everything. 

Already a pretty happy sleeper. Though, she doesn't always settle well at night. 

Anyone in my family will appreciate this picture. She started sucking her two middle fingers the other night. She is definitely my baby.