Toddler Transitions

Oh, Mr. Toddler. It was time for us as your parents to help you grow, but it wasn't easy.

Over the last month, we have really been watching Calan grow and watching him change even more from our little guy to a big boy.

A month ago we began our potty training journey. It was a stressful time for both him and I. As a mom you feel like you are banging your head against a wall over and over and over again. I am sure as a toddler you are just plain confused as to why anything needs to change at all.

For us, it took about 3 days for Calan just to start to grasp the idea of potty training. It took another 4 days for him to ask to go potty. And it took another 3 days for him to actually poop in the potty.

After about 10 days, Calan was fully potty trained. Except for a few nap-time accidents, he has been accident free. Every once in awhile like if we are at a play date, I have to make him go pee rather than waiting for him to ask me, but other than that, he is in control.

And then Saturday night, we said goodbye to the crib and hello to a normal bed. We are still transitioning, but it is going pretty well. The first night was the worst so far, so if every night is better, I figure we are getting somewhere.

To transition him, we did all the normal stuff of getting him excited about the bed. When I brought home construction truck sheets, all he kept saying was wow, so I figured I choose the right set. Then the big night came. We put him to bed telling him to stay and that it was time to sleep. We explained that sleeping in his big boy bed was a privilege and that if he did not go to sleep that he would have to sleep in his pack-and-play.

Well, warning after warning, we tried to hold off putting him in his pack-and-play because as his parents we wanted him to sleep in his bed. However, I wish we would have been more firm that first night. Around 9:30, we finally set up the pack-and-play and put him in there. He of course FREAKED OUT, and after he calmed down, I did give in and put him back in his big boy bed. And he went right to sleep around 10.

Nap times have been a little more difficult, and he has kind of chosen to sleep in the pack-and-play  instead of his bed the first few days, but yesterday he started off in the pack-and-play, but wanted to be in his bed about halfway through and he went right back to sleep.

Last night, he was asleep a little after 8:30 and I had to wake him around 7:45 this morning. So, I feel like we are getting somewhere. It is still early to say that we are transitioned, but we are getting there.

It isn't perfect. At night, it takes longer for him to settle down. He needs water or another toy or some other excuse that has Bob running back and forth from the kids' room for about 20 minutes. We also had to make his pack-and-play less desirable since he started wanting to sleep there instead of his bed. So, we told him that if he sleeps in his pack-and-play, he couldn't take any of his stuff animals with him. Just his blankets and a pillow. That helped make him want to sleep in his bed more.

So what have I learned through the last month of toddler transitions:

Remember who your kid is

We read a book and watched a video for potty training and while the information was great, I forgot to factor in who our kid is. He hated being forced to sit on the potty over and over and over again. Once I started to space the time out to every hour rather than 30 minutes, he (and I) were much happier. Also, even in his diaper, he never pooped in front of people. The kid likes his privacy and I needed to understand that. He was never going to poop on the potty under my watch.

For the bed, I have had to remind myself that it is all about transitioning and that it is OK not every night or day will be perfect. However, Calan is a kid who needs sleep, so if his pack-and-play is needed to make sure that happens, so be it. I just needed to figure out a way to make his bed the better option. It is still early with the whole bed transition, but overall it has been pretty painless and I think as long as we keep it relaxed for him, sleep won't be compromised.

As Calan's mommy, I have been pretty proud of my little guy. I have been happy that these transitions have worked and that he was ready for them. A part of me is pretty sad that he is growing up, but overall, I'm pretty darn proud of the little guy he is becoming. (OK, enough mommy pride).

His first night in his bed and raring to go. It would be another 2 1/2 hours
later before he actually fell asleep.

A little story time after a nap time. He does love playing and laying in his bed. 

A quiet moment after a nap. When he snuggles in his blanket, I get a
glimpse of my baby still. He is getting big, but a mom needs these
little moments too.  

Roommates?

When we were planning for Maisie's wonderful arrival, we (I) decided that it would be best for them to share a room. This kept one room open for a spare bedroom and office and it kept all the baby stuff in one room. In my mind, it was a great idea. In my mind, I figured by at latest 6 months they would be sharing a room. 

Well, great plans are always foiled by reality. Maisie's crib has basically stayed untouched the past 7 months. She sleeps in our room in a pack-and-play. For the most part it has worked. I have actually been pretty attached to my little bug and have been a little resistant to letting her sleep in the nursery. 

But, I am beginning to think that it might just have to be like a ripping off a Band-Aid; I just have to do it. I have to accept that there will be a little bit of a transition and they won't sleep perfectly, but to be honest they don't sleep perfectly now, so what would be the worst that could happen?

Today, they are napping in the same room. This is the second time I have tried it. The first time, Calan woke halfway through and Maisie started to cry, so I moved her to her pack-and-play and settled Calan back down, so he would sleep longer, which he did. She, however, was up, but luckily took an evening nap to make up for her short afternoon nap. 

Today, they both went down pretty easily and have been asleep for about 20 minutes. Their afternoon nap is actually pretty close to the same amount of time. They go down at 12:30 and usually sleep till about 3. I realized if they were sleeping the exact same time, they should be sleeping in the same room together during their nap, so I could do things like actually make my bed and clean up my room during nap time. 

I figure if they both can fall asleep with each other in the room, then it is probably time that they be actually sharing a bedroom. In my mind, I feel like it is time, but in my heart, I am not so ready. I don't know what my big hang up is about it. I am pretty sure that they will do fine together. I just need to try. 

I guess it is time for Calan and Maisie to finally be roommates. 

Anything Goes Thursday: Walking Zombies

Hello, middle of the night wakings. Hello, awake children and dead tired parents. Hello, coffee.

I really thought I had it pretty easy the first 6 months. Maisie has been a great sleeper. Even with all of Calan's rocking issues, he was still sleeping and being quiet. I was rested, the kids were rested, we had our routine. Everything was going so smoothly.

And then the last 2 weeks happened. We are amongst the perfect storm. Sick Calan, Wonder Week 26 for Maisie, and I think both are teething. They have been tag-teaming who is up and who is asleep, which leaves me little to no sleep after about 3:30 a.m. (I remember the nights when I would stay up till 3:30 and sleep in till 11, oh the memories.)

Being 13 months apart has created this perfect match up of development and physical changes in the kids that has left me without a good nights rest in more than 2 weeks. I miss sleep.

Now, in the kids' defense, I have not been going to bed early in order to make up for my lack of sleep, so that is most definitely my fault. I just hope that these rough nights are numbered. I am done with them.

They have left me pretty cranky, tired, without motivation, just an all-around sloth.

Don't you love though that no matter how long your kids have you up at night, they seem to wake up with a smile on their faces like nothing happened. I love their innocence even though I want to die.

I honestly do not mind being woken up in the middle of the night as long as it is a quick back to sleep. It is the 40 minutes to 2 hour wake ups that have me up and cranky.

I am just ready for my little ones to sleep. But until then, COFFEE you are my best friend.

Sleeping doesn't come easy

Do you have a good sleeper? Did it just come naturally for your child or children? Or was it, like me, a fight to the finish?

I have mentioned many times in blogs my napping up and downs with Calan. It seems every time we get into a routine something like teeth or a growth spurt or Calan's just plan stubbornness got in our way.

I am a believer in sleep training. I do think our children naturally want to sleep, but they don't know how or when and that is where parenting comes in.

There are a lot of sleep transitions in a baby's first year. It seems like you are always preparing to drop another nap. Currently, Maisie takes four naps that with three about 90 minutes long and an evening nap about 60 minutes. Calan takes one 3-hour nap. Obviously, in the early months napping is directly linked to eating. By that I mean, how many times I feed Maisie during the day is basically how many naps she has up to 7 p.m. After that, it is night sleep and just eating and sleeping without waketime.

At our house, our days are based on an eat-play-sleep cycle. This breaks the needing to nurse to sleep that many mothers get trapped in. However, with Calan, he was never one to go down for a nap without a fight. If I put him down to early or to late, he would play in his crib for his whole nap. This literally started around 4 months when he discovered his feet and couldn't get enough of them. Maisie is actually a pretty good day sleeper naturally. She does require a few extras like a blanket in order for the nap to go smoothly, but for the most part, if she plays during her waketime, she is out like a light when it is nap time.

On the flip side, Calan was and is a pretty good sleeper at night where Maisie's night sleeping is less than desirable. But, until her weight is where it should be, I'm not working on extending her night sleep. I take it for what it is.

It took me awhile to except the fact that I just can't make my children sleep. I can do everything to make sure that they have the best opportunity to sleep (well fed, dry, comfortable, etc.), but I can't make them sleep.

Calan is a decent sleeper (minus his annoying body-rocking thing), but I wasn't a lucky mom. It was hard fought. It took time and consistency.

My advice is to hang in there for any mother who is struggling with naps. Don't let your children decide their naps. You know how important sleep is for them and they need it. Even being in their crib playing is more restful than being overstimulated with their toys, and let's be honest, you need the break too. Don't stress if there are ups and downs with naps. As long as you stay consistent and expect age-appropriate napping, things should work out.

Now I'm off to get Miss Maisie to sleep.

Which didn't take long and didn't require a blanket over her face. 

17 month / 4 month update

The holiday season is upon us and life is getting pretty busy around here. The days just seem to wiz by between meals and naps, it is getting a little harder to get out of the house. Plus, I'll be honest the rainy, cold weather hasn't helped.

Thanksgiving went really well. The kids were pretty adorable and behaved very well. Calan wasn't the biggest fan of turkey, but since I can't stand turkey, I didn't blame him.

Here's what's going on with the kids:

Sleeping

• Calan - He has successfully transitioned to one nap a day. He usually sleeps from 12:30 till 3. It is great how consistent and predictable that nap has become. However, it does limit my time to run errands in the morning, as well as lunches with Bob during the week. On the bright side, he wakes up pretty happy, rested, and content. It also gives me a full wake time with Maisie just her and I. At night, Calan is still rocking way too much. He seems wake up to a half sleep and rocks back and forth against his crib. He wakes up happy and does seem rested in the mornings, so it doesn't seem to affect him there, but I just wish he wasn't doing it all.
• Maisie - She is getting a little harder to get to sleep. She is starting to not want her blanket on her face, which I would totally be OK with if that meant she could fall asleep with out it. We are about half and half falling asleep with a blanket over her face and half without it. Hopefully by next month, she will totally not need it at all. You can tell she has developed more of an awareness to her world because it is a little harder to get her to sleep and she is very much more awake when she is awake. As for night time, she is no where close to sleeping through the night. Because of her lack of weight gain, anytime she wakes up in the middle of the night, I am feeding her even if she probably does not need to eat. It is important for me to give her as much food as I can until she starts to show gains. I usually feed her 10:30/11 p.m. before I go to bed and she is waking 1:50ish and 4ish in the morning. She then wakes in the morning between 7 and 7:30.

Eating

• Calan - His appetite seems to have tapered off a little. He eats pretty decent meals at breakfast and lunch and then a smaller dinner meal. His dinner meal is probably smaller because I try to feed him more vegetables during that meal and he usually fights me on it. However, he is still a fruit lover and bananas are definitely his favorite. He can down a whole banana in about a minute.
• Maisie - If you are following along with the blog, you know that Maisie is not gaining weight like she should be. She has only gained 4 ounces since Sept. 27. We are now supplementing my breastfeeding with formula. She is nurses and then I give her a 2 oz. bottle after her day time feedings. I just nurse in the middle of the night. We are suppose to also be mixing a little cereal in her bottles, but she refuses to drink a bottle that has cereal in it. Since it is more important for her to take the formula, I have forgone the cereal for right now. But, my mother just offered a new way to try and get her to take the cereal today, so I will try to give her the cereal again tomorrow. Hopefully, it works. We go in for another weight check Dec. 14.

Milestones

• Calan - His vocabulary is jumping leaps and bounds. He seems to pick up a new word every day. He is really working on communicating with us and is realizing that words get him what he wants or needs much better than whining. We have also transitioned Calan to a booster chair for meals. It isn't too much different from the high chair, but it is nice to have the 3 of us around the same table and I don't have to sit sideways to feed him as well.
• Maisie - She is really becoming aware of everything around her. She is exploring touch and grabbing things pretty easily to her mouth. She takes her pacifier out and holds on to and then tries to get it back in her mouth.

Activities

• Calan - He is successfully doing blanket time for 30 minutes. He stays and plays and reads his books and I rarely if ever have to remind him to stay on the blanket. Our next step is to test blanket time out in public to see how well he listens. Calan loves to sing and dance as well as play with his golf clubs and trucks.
• Maisie - Her activities are still a bit limited. Because her feedings take a bit longer and then so she doesn't spit everything back up, she is still not on the ground as much as she should be. However, she does love to play on her floor mat and playing with the toys. She is getting pretty good at grabbing the toys with both hands.

Schedule

• 7 a.m. - Maisie wakes up and eats.
• 7:30 a.m. - Calan wakes up
• 8:00 a.m. - Calan eats breakfast has milk.
• 8:30 a.m. - Calan playtime in his pack and play. Maisie starts her nap.
• 9:30 a.m. - Calan dress, helps with some chores with me.
• 10 a.m. - Maisie eats, Calan sits and "reads" books or puzzles
• 11:30 a.m. - Maisie naps / Calan eats lunch
• 12 p.m. - Calan blanket time
• 12:30 p.m. - Calan naps;
• 1 p.m. - Maisie eats / Maisie & mom time
• 2:30 p.m. - Maisie nap
• 3 p.m. - Calan wakes up / snack
• 4 p.m. - Maisie wakes and eats
• 4:30 p.m. - free time (this could be errands, dinner prep, sibling time, anything to fill till dinner)
• 6 p.m. - dinner
• 6:20 p.m. - bath time
• 6:40 p.m. - Calan gets ready for bed; drinks milk
• 7 p.m. - Calan bedtime/Maisie eats
• 7:30 p.m. - Maise bedtime
• 10:30 p.m. - Maisie eats
• 1:50 a.m. and 4:30 a.m.- Middle of the night feeding for Maisie

Overall

• Calan - I can see why toddlers are so exhausting, but it is still such a fun time. I love that he is talking more and more. I can't wait for the day when we are having conversations. He is still very much a daddy's little buddy. He loves me, but there is no one like dad for him.
• Maisie - We will continue to feed, feed, and feed some more till Maisie starts gaining weight like she should. While eating formula has made her a little more fussy, she still is easily settled by me. Just like Calan adores his dad, Maisie is quite the mommy's girl and I am loving all the cuddles and snuggles.

After a little bit of a battle, Maisie is taking a bottle from me.

Calan loves playing outside. I, however, can't stand the cold. 

Calan looking through and singing with his favorite book. 

She might be little, but she is pretty cute.

Always trying to be like daddy. 

Sleep interrupted

Sorry, my mind has been a little foggy the last few days. My nights have not gone very smoothly, which has left me a little sluggish and pretty tired.

I would say that the last few nights are when I really feel like I have 2 children. My little ones have successfully been waking me up at different times and fortunately that means I am not getting any type of solid sleeping.

Calan has been waking up in the middle of the night for quite some time. He doesn't say anything, but he rocks and bangs against the crib. Everything that I have read about this behavior says that it is normal and a soothing technique. Unfortunately, it keeps me up. I just can't sleep if one of my babies isn't asleep. So, while I don't have to attend to Calan, his rocking can last anywhere from 15 minutes to (like last night) 2 hours.

And, it always seems right as one baby is going to sleep the other wakes up. It is one of those nights that you just feel like you can't win no matter what you do.

To add to the night, my parents were here staying the night as they were passing through on their way back home. So, Calan kept everyone up and I feel like a bad mom because I can't figure out why my son is waking to rock each night.

We have changed his diaper, we have shortened naps, we have lengthened naps, we have put him to bed early, we have put him to bed late. We have done everything that we can think of and the rocking continues.

To me, it is hard because there just isn't an easy way to help sooth him. I have tried rocking him and holding him and singing to him, but the second I put him in his crib, he gets in the corner and starts rocking. Most of the time, I watch him on the monitor and he is asleep rocking. I really do see how it is a soothing technique for him, but why is he doing it in the middle of the night after he has been asleep for hours? That is my biggest issues. I just want him to sleep peacefully through.

I understand and get why Maisie wakes up, but Calan is frustrating because I can't figure it out. I can't help him and I feel powerless over his and my lack of sleep.

Anyone ever deal with this? Did you figure it out?