One of those days

Man do I hate when I have one of those days. Those days that you got up on the wrong side of the bed, your son got up on the wrong side of the crib, and your daughter is just a hot mess. Yep. That was the last two days. And not to mentioned that they both got shots yesterday to add on top of the fun.

Today seems to be better, but days like yesterday remind me that everything is still day by day. That tomorrow is always different than today, and I can always make it to 7 p.m.

I thought that I would be able to laugh through most of the bad days, but yesterday I wasn't laughing. I was pretty short and snippy. I was exactly the way I don't want to be.

But then, my son gave me the bigggest hug and kiss and I swear our days both changed. Maisie was still being a bugger, but 2 out of 3 turning to the bright side is half the battle.

Praying today is an awesome day and my patience are plentiful and my smile never stops.

Double Trouble

This afternoon, I placed Maisie done for a second in a chair in their nursery while I got Calan out of his crib. When he saw her in the chair, he needed to be right next to her. Too say they were pretty cute sitting in the chair together is an understatement, but it reminded me these two are going to be trouble cohorts in no time.

Definitely love these two. 

Why does this time feel so different?

I can't explain it and I am not sure why it is bothering me so much, but everything feels so different the second time around. I love Maisie with all my heart, but some how, I feel like everything is so mechanical this time around. I feed, change, and let her sleep. Her needs are met and she is happy, but why do I feel like I am missing something?

It is really bothering me.

She is almost 8 weeks old and I think about all the things we did with Calan by then and think about all the things we aren't doing with her and I feel regret. Some how I feel like I am missing out on her newborn stage.

Now to be fair, her reflux has limited her activity quite a bit. The first 4 weeks she basically lived in her bouncy seat in an upright position. Unless she was going to bed, she would freak out if laid on the ground for more than a diaper change. She was in pain and needed to just be still. Now, almost 4 weeks later, I still feel like she is living in the bouncy seat. We are doing a little more floor time, but not a ton. She still gets kind of upset if on the ground for too long. Poor little girl.

But on the flip side, she naps better than Calan ever did, so maybe I am just not use to a baby sleeping so much. I feel like once I feed her and then get her comfortable again and settled, we don't have much time to play before she is ready to sleep again. She is usually awake for about an hour to an hour and 20 minutes after each nap. I also see now that even though I was trying not to, I am pretty sure I was overstimulating Calan at this age, which then in turn made it hard for him to sleep. Poor little guy.

With trying to balance Maisie's eating schedule with Calan's schedule. I feel like I am on some kind of conveyor belt. It keeps life feeling a bit mechanical and detached, which I am really having a hard time with. I don't want to feel this way. I want to feel like I am living in every moment instead of getting by.

I am sure this is just a blip in the grand scheme of life and once Maisie is more alert and her stomach is feeling better and their schedules start to align better these emotions will disappear. Maybe I am just being a little silly and my emotions are getting in the way, but I want to feel the excitement I felt with Calan and not the mechanical feeling I am having lately with Maisie.

Who are you?

One of the fun parts of the Blogger server is that it tracks where from people are reading me. I find it very interesting and wonder all the time who is actually reading about me and my adventures as a new mom.

I do have some friends and family around the globe and can pick out that probably our regular Germany hits are Bob's cousin who lives there and the Canada hits are family too. But there is one country that I just can't figure out and I am really interested in knowing. I get about 10 hits a week from Australia. I have never been to Australia and have only known one person to live close to in New Zealand. Who are you Australia?

If you find it weird that I am curious, sorry, I do not mean to call you out. I am just intrigued. I love to know that people are actually reading my words. It makes writing that much more enjoyable. I like to know who my audience is even if it is only a few people each day who read. 

That reminds me ... if you do follow the blog, why not let me know that you are a follower by becoming a follower? 

Bras for a Cause is Saturday!

Modeling an art bra in last year's survivor
fashion show. This year, I am just volunteering
backstage. I didn't think that I would be catwalk
ready after Maisie. They have a record amount
of survivors walking in this year's show.

I am a breast cancer survivor. I know this. I know that it really did happen. BUT most of the time it feels like my battle was years ago instead of just 4. Most of the time I don't even remember what it was exactly like to go through it all. I never thought I would move on and live a normal life again, but it doesn't get more normal than sitting on the couch as both of my children nap with toys all around me and laundry just waiting to be done.

However, there is one event that keeps inspiring to live my life to the fullest and to inspire others that there is so much past cancer and that event is Bras for a Cause in Memory of Shannon Watson. It is an event started 2 years ago by a dear friend who changed my life. Shannon believed that cancer patients and survivors need support of other survivors and patients. I joke that Shannon was my cancer sponsor like alcoholic sponsors. She showed me how important it was to live life. She was so full of life you couldn't help put assume she was a super woman. Shannon only hosted one year of the Bras for a Cause event because sadly she passed away before the second event last year. This event was so important to her and it was so important to her to give back to Gilda's Club where she found so much comfort and comforted so many.

The event is tomorrow from 6-10p.m. Tickets are $45 at the door. Last year's event sold out, so come early.

Why do I cloth diaper ....

Two days worth of diapers. Maisie's used 14 and Calan used 12.

Because could you imagine this many diapers being thrown away every 2 days? Or that many disposables full of poop sitting in your trashcan? Or paying for that many? No thanks. That's not for me.

When we went to the Upper Peninsula the other week, I decided that we were going to use disposables while we were there because I didn't want to have to deal with laundry. I have to say now looking back, I would have rather done the laundry. We went through so many disposables and they were so stinky. Basically ever time my husband went to change a diaper, he would complain about the smell of the diaper. I joked with him that he has become a cloth diaper snob. But it is true that unused disposables definitely have a distinct smell that we are just not use to.

We also had two blowout diapers with Maisie. One on the way up and one when we were out for breakfast, of course always out in public. With cloth, I definitely deal with pee leaks, but never blowouts. I would rather deal with 10 pee leaks to any blowouts. It is just a mess to deal with trying to get her cleaned up from changing the diaper to trying to get her clothes off without getting poop everywhere. What a mess. Yuck! No thanks.

I've learned my lesson. Next time we go to my mom's, I'm packing our cloth diapers. (Plus, I missed their fluffy butts.)

Calan gets a big brother gold star

I get asked often how Calan is with Maisie and I have to say that I am have been quite amazed at how good he is with her. I didn't know what to expect with a 1-year-old. It wasn't like I could prepare him for his little sister's arrival. I can only imagine what he thought of her or when he realized she was here to stay. But I have been pleasantly surprised at how seamless the transition seemed to be.

Calan loves being close to his sister. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not letting him have full access to his sister and I am sure if I let him, he might poke an eye out, but overall, he really has been great with her and doesn't seem to show signs of jealousy of her.

It is the little things that he does do that has surprised me the most. He loves to give her kisses, which means tapping lightly his forehead to hers. He hands me her blanket or burp cloths if they are on the ground. He has to be right next to her if she is laying on the ground. He is very sweet to her under my supervision touching her hands lightly and feet. It is when I am not looking that he gets a few harder pokes in, but Maisie has survived them all with only a few making her cry.

I love that he is showing signs that he likes her and I love that she smiles whenever he is around.

One of my favorite times is after his afternoon nap when I am nursing Maisie and Calan is sitting next to me on the couch drinking his milk. We all cuddle together. I love it.

I can't wait to see them really become friends. I am sure that Maisie is going to give Calan a run for his money. She is already a spitfire. Watch out!

Duh, Jodie. You have to plan your meals

Our dinner tonight. I cooked the bacon this weekend
and the chicken yesterday with our taco chili.
I chopped veggies and cooked the eggs today during
nap time. So, all I had to do was cook the corn
before dinner. It was delicious and stress free thanks
to planning ahead. 

I remember when Bob and I were going through our pre-marriage counseling and we were discussing how hopefully one day I would be able to stay at home with our children. Part of that discussion was about expectations if I was a stay-at-home mom. I remember telling Bob not to be surprised if there were days that I would call him and ask him to grab a pizza on his way home because my day was crazy. While Bob did not care about this, he just was a little surprised because he kind of expected that dinner would be made because that is what his mom did (thanks mother-in-law). However, I am proud to say even with all the craziness, dinner has been made more times than not. 

I am sure other mothers know and have already figured out that planning meals is a lifesaver, but somehow, it took me having a second child to figure this one out. Now that my time is limited and grocery shopping has to be an in-and-out kind of experience, I have really had an AHA moment that making a weekly meal plan is the only way to get good meals on the table. 

I don't even have to think about what to have for breakfast, lunch, or dinner because I already know what we have and what is planned. It makes getting everything together 100% easier. The meal planning isn't anything grand. I just use the iPhone notes app to just make quick notes of what we should be eating each day that week. I don't spend too much time on details of the meals. I just jot down the basics. It takes me about 10 to 20 minutes to set up our meals and grocery lists, but that 10 to 20 minutes saves me at least an hour of standing in my kitchen debating what to have at each meal or having frozen meat or missing ingredients or any other obstacle that stops dinner from getting to the table. I already know what we are having days before we have it. Like I said, I know that others have already figured this out, but for some reason, I was a little slow. 

Dinner is my craziest time of day. By planning ahead, I can also do things through out my day instead of trying to do everything at dinner time. I can chop veggies early, marinate meat, or cook what I can during their naps instead of doing it while they are up and needing my attention. 

I organize my grocery list by the aisles
of grocery store. It saves me tons of time.

Two iPhone apps have really helped me. I use Cozi family calendar to set up my grocery list. It is completely flexible and can be customized for your needs. I have it organized based on my grocery store aisles, so I can just go through the store once and not need to back track. The next app is the one for the website All Recipes. I combine some new meals with family favorites to get a great variety. On my phone, I have the Cozi calendar right next to my All Recipe app, so it is so easy to flip back and forth when I am setting up my grocery lists. 

So, I am sharing a mother secret. Go forth and enjoy dinner time again. 

Little bug does smile

We are still dealing with an unhappy bug. Maisie is still having off and on bad reflux. Some feedings go OK, others not so much.

Sunday was pretty miserable. She cried through church, which meant we rushed out as fast as we could. Then we tried to go up to Bob's aunt's house for dinner, but she was pretty upset there too and we left during dessert. But then typical children, we got home, we laid her down after her night feeding at 8:30 and she didn't make a peep till 1:30 a.m.

Today was pretty good. We only had one rough feeding. All the rest were pretty standard with just burps and spitups. I can deal with the spitup. It is the cries of pain that break my heart and keeps me looking for ways to have more good feedings and no bad feedings.

Over the Bridge

It was freezing, but we made it. First family
vacation with Maisie a success.

We successfully went on our first family vacation as a family of four. We backed up Thursday night and headed up to the Michigan Upper Peninsula Friday morning after breakfast. We took our time stopped twice and made it up there in about 7 hours. Calan traveled pretty well and Maisie was a champ.

It was pretty cold all weekend, but we made do. I was even able to go out to dinner one night with my mom for some girl time and one night for a much needed date night with my husband.

Here are a few highlights:

After a 7-hour trip, a little golf was needed. 

Having fun at Art on the Lake.

Getting to taste an elephant ear.

Exploring Papa Bill's fish. My step-dad raises angel fish
and discus fish. Kids find all his tanks pretty cool.

Even though it was cold, Calan enjoys a
little ice cream. Bob and I got coffee. 

Exploring Seney National Wildlife
Refuge's visitor center.

Enjoying Scottish eggs and a little beer at Dune's in
Grand Marais, a favorite of Bob's.

Getting ready to head home. 

So hard to leave when it is so beautiful out.