5-year whirlwind

Picture of Bob and I when we had been dating more than
6 months. That was 12 years ago!

Crazy to think that at 18 I met and fell in love with my husband. Crazy to think that 5 years has past since we vowed to love and cherish each other for life. If anyone had told me what our first 5 years of marriage would have looked like, I would have probably cried and laughed and would have stared at them in disbelief. Nothing prepared us for what we would face, but together we have endured and enjoyed life together.

I look at the two18-year-olds in that picture and realize how lucky they are to have found each other in a sea of people during just their third week of college. I look at us so young and think about how much Bob has changed me for the better and how God knew that I needed him in my life. Bob knows how to keep me grounded and patient and calm.

I know for a fact that I live a great life because I have my husband by my side. 

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fallYou say it best when you say nothing at all.
"When You Say Nothing at All" by Alison Krauss (Our wedding song)

We had to do it

This cloth diapering mom is sad to say that we have resorted to disposables at night for Calan. After battling yeast rashes and leaks, I had to give in. I had to make the decision that disposables at night was what was best for my little man right now.

I was putting him in a bamboo fitted with tons of extra inserts. His diaper butt was HUGE. While he did not leak for the most part, he just was soaked and getting rashes and waking up in the middle of the night. My 12-hour sleeper was just not doing well in cloth at night.

I know that there are options out there and I hope to figure something out soon, but I haven't had the time or "passion" to figure it out. I'll be honest, it has been easier changing him into a disposable for night. I got tired trying to strip our diapers and trying different levels absorbency and still battling rash after rash after rash. Plus, he started to get urine burns. I couldn't deal with it anymore. So, we bought a box of disposables and I haven't looked back.

Calan has always been a heavy wetter and it has always been an issue when it comes to cloth diapering. I know that there are a ton of options out there, but for this busy mom, disposables were our best option for the time being.

And yes, I am still trying to convince myself that it is OK that I am using a disposable. I have crazy cloth diapering guilt. I know that is crazy, but it is true. However, Calan's butt is clear and I have to go with what works for now. So, to me, we just had to do it.

Community, calling, and other mommy emotions

This blog is going to be a bit of a ramble, but I have started a few times on each topic, but they all oddly enough kind of go together, so bare with me. 

Did you ever dream of your life as a mother the way you might have dreamed of your wedding day? I kind of did. While I enjoyed (for the most part) my time working a real career, I always day dreamed of the day that I would be a stay-at-home mom. What my afternoons would look like; what I would be able to do with my children instead of staring at my computer screen each day; and how much I would enjoy being with them. These things would cross my mind regularly and now that all is true, my reality is even better.

When I had Calan, life was good, but early on, as in 2 months after he was born, I was really feeling ready to have another baby. I really felt like it was already time to have another. And according to the calendar, we were pregnant right before Halloween last year. We found out Nov. 6. Can you believe how little Calan was and I was already for another? But it was a strong emotion that I am NOT having this time at all. I know that we want more children, but I am actually really OK with waiting for a little bit this time. My day dream of having babies around me and enjoying their smiles and excitements and joys has really come true. And I love it.

I would wonder if I would get bored being a stay-at-home mom and the answer without a doubt is that I am never bored! Life gets a little bit on repeat, but I have been really lucky to find some great mom friends that I can call up and get together with. Play dates, lunches, coffee, story times, etc. are all wonderful moments for me. I love feeling a bond with some wonderful women and their wonderful children. This week has been great. Monday was obviously Halloween, yesterday we went to story time and then an impromptu play date in the afternoon, and today we just got back from a wonderful afternoon at the zoo with friends. Tomorrow, we have our play group class and not sure yet what we are going to do Friday, but I hope it is as fun as the rest of the week. Life isn't dull and I don't feel trapped by my children. Life is really kind of how I saw it. Great moments with great friends.

I have no regrets of leaving my job to be a mom and I have no desire to go back. I love being here and I love taking care of my family. I feel honored and blessed that my day dreams have come. And I do not miss the hours I spent pretending to work and pretending to enjoy what I was doing. The truth is my heart was never in it. My husband and my kids are my heart.

Yes, I know that not ever day is a dream and that there are days that I struggle (I have even blogged about it), but today is one of those glorious days that I can sit here and just day dream and smile and Thank God that my dreams are coming true.

Happy Halloween

Bob and I were debating what was worse teenagers trick-or-treating or us taking 2 kids who can't even eat candy trick-or-treating?

Either way, we had a good time. We spent the evening with family at my in-laws' house. Calan was all over the place and having a blast with all the dogs. We took him and Maisie to a few houses, but that was about it. Now, both kids are sacked out.

Days like today remind me how much more fun each year will be with our little ones.

Here's some photos from the night:

Maisie, our little bug, as a bumble bee and Mr. Calan
as a dog, minus the cute ears he refused to wear. 

Calan being welcomed to Grandpa
Gris's by Izzy. Calan was laughing
hysterically the whole time Izzy
was giving him a million kisses. 

Grandpa Gris trying to get a pic
with kids

And Calan was ready to go. 

Grandpa Gris trying to discuss
life with Maisie. 

Our best family photo. We just can't seem to get a good one. 

Maisie is nearing her bug maximum.

And maximum hit. 

It was a great Halloween. Can't wait for next year!

16 month / 3 month update

Well another month has flown by and my babies are getting bigger by the day. I feel like I just did this for 15 months and 2 months and here we are another month older. They are doing so well and I love every moment (well almost every moment, I am human).

So here is the round up:

Sleeping

• Calan - Overall Calan is still a great sleeper. He was still taking 2 great naps of about 1.5 to 2 hours each everyday, but he was waking in the middle of the night and playing or rocking for long extended periods of time. I think that he was getting too much sleep during the day and it was effecting his nighttime sleep. This week, I have started to transition him to one nap. Out of 4 days of doing it, 2 were great, 1 he didn't nap well and ended up going to bed early, and 1 he needed 2 naps. So it is just the beginning and we are taking it on a day-by-day basis. If he seems like he needs 2, he gets 2; if he needs 1, then he gets 1. It is making it a little hard to plan things right now, but overall, I think he is ready to go to 1 nap, so I don't think we will be in limbo for too long.
• Maisie -  She is still a sleeping champ once I get her to sleep. She is very particular and if something isn't quite right, it can take awhile to get her to sleep. She still sleeps with a blanket over her head. I am sure I am setting up some bad habits that won't be easy to break her off, but she naps so well when everything is done right. It is the difference between a 20-minute catnap and a 2-hour glorious nap. At night, she is still waking up once or twice. This past week she went through a crazy growth spurt and woke up a ton, but that seems to have settled down and we are back to the regular once or twice. Hoping that my night waking days are numbered. I hope she is getting close to sleeping through the night.

Eating

• Calan - He is still eating a ton. I actually had to increase our grocery bill to keep up. He loves most foods, but he is still particular about how they are cooked or seasoned. He is a carbohydrate addict, so I try to give his other foods first. We are also eating out more and more with him. He behaves really well for the most part. It is nice to know that we can go out to eat and not worry how he is going to act. Since he eats so many things, there is always something we can give him when we are out and about.
• Maisie - She is still nursing really well. With the growth spurt, I could barely keep up with her. She was eating basically every 2 hours. She also has had a little bit of formula to fill in when I wasn't around. She took it just fine. When I was nursing Calan, I tried to keep up an extra supply for when I was gone, and it was horrible having to figure out when he might sleep well and I would be able to wake up and pump some. This time I decided that I wasn't going to drive myself crazy. If I need to, she will have formula if I don't have extra breast milk around. This past week was the first time we had to and she did fine.

Milestones

• Calan - He is doing a lot of the same things he did last month, just better. He is saying please for everything and not just in sign language. He says please for everything from getting out of his pack-and-play to opening the gate to more food. It is great that he is doing it, but he doesn't quite understand why sometimes please doesn't get him what he wants when he wants it. However for the most part, "please" has cut down on tantrums.
  The last of Calan's incisor teeth came through this month. Thank goodness! We should be done with teething till his 2-year-molars. Kind of crazy to think that last Halloween Calan's first teeth popped through and now we are finally done for awhile.
  He is picking up on so many things so quickly now. For example, Bob taught him how to show the touchdown hand signal in one day. That would have taken me a month to teach before.
  He is climbing up on furniture pretty easily now and for the most part doesn't roll off. He understands that he has to climb down carefully. 
• Maisie -  She isn't rolling over as much as she was last month. She gets her arms in the way and can't figure out how to get over them. She is blowing raspberries, batting at some close toys and pulling blankets up to her mouth.

Activities

• Calan - Calan is still doing pack-and-play time in the morning and he is up to 15-minutes of blanket time each day. We are working on matching colors and focusing on red, blue, and green. He is doing pretty well with it and says blue. We have also started coloring. We are attending playgroup on Thursdays and he does well sitting on the rug for story time and listening to the instructor. 
• Maisie - Her activities are about the same. Cooing, smiling and floor time. I hope to be a little more specific in my activities with her. I should be doing more floor time than I am. 

Schedule 

• 7 a.m. - Maisie wakes up and eats.
• 7:30 a.m. - Calan wakes up 
• 8:00 a.m. - Calan eats breakfast has milk. 
• 8:30 a.m. - Calan  playtime in his pack and play. Maisie starts her nap.
• 9 a.m. - Calan playtime/reading time
• 10 a.m. - Maisie eats, we play together
• 11 a.m. - Maisie naps
• 11:30 a.m. - Calan eats lunch
• 12 p.m. - Calan blanket time (15 min.) / devotionals
• 1 p.m. - Calan nap; Maisie eats
• 2 p.m. - Maisie naps
• 3:30 / 4 p.m. -  Calan wakes up / Maisie eats 
• 5 p.m. - free time or errands
• 6 p.m. - dinner
• 6:20 p.m. - bath time
• 6:40 p.m. - Calan gets ready for bed; drinks milk
• 7 p.m. - Calan bedtime/Maisie eats
• 7:30 p.m. - Maise bedtime
• 10:30 p.m. - Maisie eats
• 3 a.m. - Middle of the night feeding for Maisie

Overall

• Calan - He is definitely transitioning into a full blown toddler. He is learning new things everyday and starting to really interact and play. He is a handful, but he is such a blessing and I love watching him grow and evolve into a little boy. 
• Maisie - She is so smiley and happy. She loves watching Calan play around her. She never seems to care when he is poking at her. She does get frustrated quickly and has little patience. She loves

Rubba Dub Dub, 2 babies in the tub

Problem: Grocery shopping with 2 babies

Solution: One baby secured in front; one resting in her carrier;
one happy mom with groceries to feed her family. 

To be honest, I did not think of this myself and I am not sure how long it would have taken me to figure it out. Thankfully, one afternoon, I was headed to the grocery store with my little ones in tow. I had Calan up in front and Maisie resting in the cart. It worked, but it left little to no space for groceries. That was until I saw another mother with 2 little ones one day and she had it all figured out. Don't rest the baby in the cart, but on the cart. 

I understand that I will probably get comments about how unsafe this is and how I should just go by myself after my husband gets home. But here is why this works for me:

1. I am exhausted by the time my husband gets home from work and the kids are in bed. The last thing that I want to do is head out to the grocery store. I want to do the dinner dishes and then relax. 
2. Weekends are meant for family time. I don't want to spend some of that precious time grocery shopping, which I hate doing by the way. 
3. I am not pushing the cart 90 mph down a dirt road. Everything is a smooth surface.

I am sure mothers of multiples and other babies close in age have found different answers to this problem, but this is the one that works for us now. There will be a time when Maisie is too large for her carrier and this solution will become null and void, but for now it works.

Gathering winter ideas

I am on the hunt for some free or inexpensive indoor activities for the winter. I think any stay-at-home mom who wants to keep her sanity needs to get out of the house. As the warm Fall days are becoming fewer and fewer, my family room seems to be getting smaller and smaller.

Getting out in the winter seems to be tricky because everyone wants to get out, but no one wants to have a sick kid. I have been pretty lucky in the 16 months that I have been a mother neither kid has been sick. We have had a runny nose from teething, but nothing that has stopped my kid. I am sure with my want and Calan's need to get out of the house, I am sure we will not be as lucky.

Here are a few things we are planning on doing to try and keep my sanity and ward off Calan's boredom:

• Story Time: Good ole reliable libraries. They offer tons of things to do from reading (obviously) to puppets to legos, as well as weekly story times. Royal Oak has a pretty good program that is usually pretty packed with kids and parents. We went often before Calan was moving and before he was only taking 2 naps that didn't work with the time. So, we hadn't been in awhile, but we went today and Calan did pretty good staying on the rug. I sat with him for a little while to keep him in place, but overall it was a pretty good experience. He sat and listened really well as the librarian read the story. I was proud.
• Playaway: I just discovered this last night. It is a mom-and-me type of program held 2 blocks south of my house. I was pretty excited. I signed us up for a 6-week class that starts on Thursday. Plus, and the best part, it offers a free class every last Friday of the month. So, if you are in the Royal Oak area and want an absolutely free thing to do with your children, this is a great option. 
• Mall play area: This will probably be a last resort due to the amount of germs (and I'm not a germaphobe). A mall by us (Oakland Mall) has a toddler play area that has stationary objects and tunnels that the kids can run and crawl over. I have already taken Calan a few times this month and he loves it and it is pretty close to our house. 
• Eating out: Because my husband works most of the time our kids are awake, we try to meet for lunch once every other week or so. For me, it is nice to get out of the house. For Bob, it is nice for him to see the kids. For Calan, it gives him plenty of times to learn manners while we are out at a restaurant. And for Maisie, well, she is still just sleeping through it all. 

OK, Moms, do you have more suggestions? Share, please. I need as many as I can get. This is my first winter with a mobile child. Please share your motherly knowledge with me. What do you do in the winter to keep your sanity?

Pumpkin Carve Flop

I really thought Calan would find pumpkin carving really fun this year, but nope. He thought the insides were just plain gross and he wanted no part of the carving.

But he did like the final product. He was really interested in them once we were done. Maybe next year, he'll be excited like I hoped he would be.

Ready to go. 

Testing it out. 

Truly grossed out and done with me trying to get him to like it.
He went a played after this.

Now, he likes the pumpkin. 

Don't mess with a sleeping baby

Yep, that is my daughter sleeping soundly under that blanket. Yes, I let her sleep that way. Yes, I know that it is a huge mother no-no. Yes, I would never had done this with Calan, but somehow this time I feel like "it is what it is." And that is just the way she naps. I don't know what else to say about it.

I realized early on that Maisie was pretty light sensitive. She could care less about noise around her, but light and movement will keep her eyes open and her not sleeping. One day as she was crying and having a fit because she was over tired and I was tired of rocking her trying to get her to stop crying, which seemed to be useless, I put a blanket over her and she stopped crying almost instantly and fell asleep in my arms.

I thought maybe it was a fluke, so the next time I was in the same situation, I did it again and again she quieted almost instantly and fell asleep. And now, well, she naps with a blanket over her head.

I wonder now if some of Calan's napping issues might have been due to the same light sensitivity, but I would never even had tried putting a blanket over his head. And to be honest, I am not sure what made me try it this time, but it was just what she was looking for.

She doesn't seem to need it at night, but during the day, it is what she waits for to go to sleep. She will start to fuss a little. I put her in the bouncy chair, give her a pacifier, and cover her up. She is out quicker then you can sneeze. If i put her down too early, she pulls the blanket off her head, and when she wakes up she pulls the blanket off, so I know that she knows how to uncover her face.

I check on her through out her naps and she just sleeps soundly. I have tried taking the blanket off once she is asleep and that usually wakes her up, so I have let it be and come to terms with the fact that "it is what it is."

What are somethings you would never have tried or done with your first child, but somehow do often with your second?