Starting to get excited

It is starting to settle in that I am having a girl. I am not the over-the-top, everything must be pink and frilly kind of mom, but I am starting to get excited about all the girl things that I never thought I would be excited about. It has been a rough week pregnancy-wise. Dreaming about all the things that I will be able to do with our little girl really has helped me stay sane.

I feel my little girl kicking inside and I think about all the fun I am going to have with her. How exciting it will be to see her go off to her first Daddy/Daughter dance, to watch her get her hair done for prom, to shop for her wedding dress. I know all those things are so far off, but I am excited for them all. I love have\ing a son, but I am starting to get excited for all the different things that she and I will be able to do that just won't be the same with Calan. 

I am even enjoying getting cute baby girl clothes. I stopped by a mom-to-mom sale last weekend to find Calan some much needed pajamas, but I couldn't help myself to some adorable girl items too. Boy clothes have come along way and are pretty adorable, but let's be honest, there is nothing like little baby girl clothes. They melt your heart.

Our little sweetheart will be here in about 114 days (not like I am counting or anything). I can't wait. Now that my excitement level is up, I know that it is going to be a long wait, but a wait well worth it!

Breastfeeding doll?? Umm. Not so sure about that

Have you guys heard of this? A breastfeeding doll. It was released in Spain 2 years ago and now is being released in the US. My first response was "Seriously!" and then it was "No Way!" and then it was "Is there a market for this?"

Here is the article I read about it:

Parents' fury as 'totally inappropriate' breastfeeding doll for young girls goes on sale in the U.S. 

A cloth diapering blog I follow posted the link on Facebook and it was kind of interesting reading some of the comments women had on it. First though I should tell you that the cloth diapering world is very pro-breastfeeding and living a natural life. But their comments made me wonder why I was so disgusted by the idea of a doll marketed to breastfeed. 

One woman commented that her daughter did not need a special doll to breastfeed. The daughter would see the mother breastfeed her baby brother and mimic it with her own doll. That comment made me wonder how many other little girls would do the same thing. Kids want to mimic their parents, so if you are a breastfeeding mother, wouldn't it be natural for your child to mimic you?

Other women commented on why was a breastfeeding doll not OK, but a over the top sexy  Barbie Dolls and those Bratz dolls (which I personally can't stand) are OK?

Why does breastfeeding make people cringe so much? I breastfed Calan and yet, it still kind of makes me cringe. I would definitely stare if I saw a woman breastfeeding in public, but a woman feeding her baby with a bottle I would not think twice about. Why is that? What in our society has made breastfeeding a taboo thing? Isn't it one of the most natural and best things we can do for our children? 

Could this doll or ones like it help change the taboo label? 

Not sure that a $100 doll is the answer, but not sure that it is totally a bad idea either. Where do you guys stand?

Out of commission

Sorry, I couldn't post yesterday. I was feeling pretty awful. I think that I might have had my first migraine, which I hear can happen during pregnancy. It was awful. I was pretty much out of commission all day. I was lucky though, my sister-in-law came and helped me in the morning and Bob was able to come home and help in the evening. Not sure what I would have done without their help.

I had a throbbing headache that made me feel incredibly nauseous all day. I slept off and on all day because it was the only way to relieve the pain. Being pregnant, I could only take Tylenol and that did nothing. 

From what I understand the primary culprit of headaches during pregnancy are hormonal changes. Since I have been a raging lunatic lately, I am pretty sure that my hormones are all over the place. 

The second trimester is suppose to be euphoric. You are suppose to be the happiest, glowing pregnant lady anyone has seen and this second trimester for me has been nothing but a pain. It is making me very nervous for what my third trimester will be like. 

Enough already!

I am so tired of feeling overwhelmed, annoyed, emotional, crazy, insane, forgetful, disorganized, stressed...

You name a negative feeling and I have been feeling it for the past week or two. I know Bob is starting to get pretty annoyed by it, but I can't seem to stop. I rarely feel at peace right now. I never felt this way when I was pregnant with Calan. I have the shortest fuse ever. Not pregnant I am not perfect, but this built up aggression and emotional breakdowns are on a whole new level.

I think the sad part is I know that I am doing it, but I can't seem to reset my annoyance button. Once it is pressed, it is pressed and watch out. I am usually pretty good about rationalizing my emotions to keep them in check, but no matter how many times I tell myself I am acting insanely, I just keep on going.

I really do wish I could breath and relax. I wish I was not feeling this way. I feel pretty out of control all the time and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to act normal anymore.

I know that even this blog seems crazy, but it is true. I'm so all over the place and my extreme emotions are getting the best of me. I wish I could find the one way to fix this. I wish I could laugh it off and become normal again, but for some reason my mind is getting the best of me. This is one pregnancy symptom I wish I had a cure for right now.

I am just feeling so frustrated by this. I am feeling so emotionally drained and tired. I think that it might be time to cash in my massage gift certificate Bob got me for my birthday. I need to do something because what I am doing now is NOT working.

I couldn't live without ...

Every baby is different and every mom learns the quick tricks to make her baby happy. And every mother will give you advice on what worked for their baby, but the truth is every mother has to do a lot of trial and error to see what works and what does not.

While Calan is a pretty easy baby to please, he does let you know things that work and things that don't. For example while some babies love their swings, Calan hated it with a passion, but he loved and could not live without his bouncy chair. He actually slept in his bouncy chair for the first month next to my bed. As his parents, we swore by that thing. We took it everywhere with us. It was our savior in so many ways. It was kind of a sad day when it was put away in our basement because he had out grown it.

Another toy that has now been put away was his play mat. He would lay on that thing forever if I had let him. It was fun as his mother to watch him grow with it; from just staring at the toys, to kicking and batting the toys, to reaching for the toys, to rolling and moving around to each toy. I used the mat a lot to get things done around the house. I knew he would be content and happy while I did the dishes or made the bed. It was great.

We also love our video monitor. It is the only way we would be able to watch our son sleep. While he is becoming a heavier sleeper, he still sleeps pretty lightly. Sometimes all it takes is the turn of his door knob and his head is up waiting to see what is going on. Our house is not large, so I can basically hear him no matter where I am at, but the monitor let's me visually check on him whenever I want without disturbing him.

Calan has a favorite blanket. It is just a simple green and white knit blanket that stays in his crib, but he loves it. I know that giving your baby a blanket in his crib is a no, no, but he has become pretty attached. We lay him down and he reaches his arms up till we place his blanket down on him. He then grabs the blanket and pulls it tight to his chin. It is pretty adorable. Some babies sleep with a pacifier or suck their thumb, ours doesn't do either. He loves his blanket instead.

Calan loves books, but even in his selection of books there are a few that top the rest. He loves "I'll See You in the Morning," "Where is Babies Belly Button," "The Going to Bed Book," and "Pat the Bunny." I seriously have these books memorized. Basically before he goes to sleep at each nap and bedtime I read him at least two books if not more. I will try to read other books, and he is good for a little bit, but then starts reaching for his side table where the regulars are stacked. When I read to Calan, it is usually my only time of day where he is a little bit snuggly toward me. He just lays back and relaxes. I could not live without books.

I think like a lot of mothers whose babies are on the go, I can't live without his pack 'n play. In preparation for our baby girl, Calan spends at least a half hour in this pack 'n play away from me so he can't see me. He plays independently while I get some things done. The parenting classes that we attend through Growing Kids God's Way (known also has the Babywise book series) really suggest independent play for development. For me, I see it as away for Calan to spend some time each day not seeing me, so when we have a new little one, it won't be a shock to him when I have to step away from him. I need to work in nursing times somehow. We also take our pack 'n play to most family gatherings. Since we usually get together at night, the pack 'n play allows us to keep Calan's bedtime at 7 p.m. and still enjoy ourselves. He goes to bed very well in his pack 'n play. Most of our family is amazed that all we do is lay him down and he is quiet and goes to sleep. We have just been doing that on basically a weekly basis with family dinners that he is just so use to his pack 'n play at this point.

I would say those are my few favorite things. There are of course others and as he is getting older new toys are becoming favorites, but these items, to me, gave me sanity during some of the rough times.

It is going to be interesting to see what tricks that were sure fire baby pleasers for Calan that won't even come close to working for our baby girl. I am sure that I will have a whole new list of items for her. I can't wait to see her personality.

What were some of your mommy tricks to make it through the cranky times?

9 months old today!

My 7 lb. 11 oz. newborn is now a 19 lb. 13 oz. 9-month-old. My itty-bitty baby is moving everywhere and is starting become quite the ham.

Calan's webbed fingers before surgery

The big news this month was that Calan finally has 10 fingers! We finally scheduled and had his surgery that took about 3 hours to preform. It was a little difficult for me to watch him go back with nurses, but the doctor said he did great. When he woke up, he was pretty out of it, but he bounced back pretty quickly. I couldn't believe how well he did the very next day. He was just my normal happy boy. It does not seem to have bothered him one bit. He is still healing, so he still has a wrap and gauze protecting it. We go back next week to the doctor to see how he is progressing, but so far, so good.

He is still army crawling around. He might just be one of the kids who never really does a true crawl. He gets up on all-fours and rocks and then when he wants to move he drops down to his stomach and army crawls. He isn't pulling himself up either, though I am hoping that he is close. He gets on one elbow on his side, but doesn't sit up by himself yet or really grab at things to pull himself up. He does crawl up me, but that is about it. Last week, I had to keep him pretty immobile till he healed more from his surgery. He was not a fan, but it wasn't horrible. Luckily, it doesn't seem to have slowed him down a bit. He is moving everywhere this week and quickly. Elle (our dog) is in trouble to say the least.

He is sleeping great. Naps are getting really regular for us. He sleeps 1.5-2 hours twice a day. Where I use to have a bad nap probably every other day, now those are usually once a week and usually on Saturdays. My guess is he just wants to spend time with dad and hates going for his nap. He is still sleeping 7 p.m. till 7 a.m. This month we dealt with Day Light Savings. He transitioned pretty well. It took about a week to get him back to a 7-to-7 sleeping pattern.

His appetite has been a little all over the place. Some days he devours what I give him; other days he just doesn't eat it all. I wasted quite a bit of formula this month, but oh well. He was hard to gauge, but he was still sleeping well, so I am sure he was getting enough. For breakfast, he usually drinks an 8 oz. bottle and eats plain yogurt mixed with pureed fruit and finger-food toast. For lunch, he has a 6 oz. bottle and a veggie and some oatmeal. Mid-afternoon, he just has an 8 oz. bottle. We finish off the day with another 6 oz. bottle and some veggies and a little more oatmeal. He is eating more non-baby food like toast, crackers, and cheese. I am getting a little more comfortable giving him regular food. We will continue to explore that this month.

We have moved Calan out of his baby carrier car seat and into a convertible car seat. It is nice to not have to carry him in the carrier anymore. It was getting pretty heavy. I am not sad to see that go.

The Cloth Diapering Diaper Bag

Surprise, the bag is no different than a disposable diaper bag. I have diapers, I have wipes, I have toys, snacks and extra clothes. Pretty standard, really. 

When I was planning for Calan, I found this great book that really helped me organize everything from his changing table to his closet to his diaper bag. "The Organized Mom: Simplify Life for You and Baby, One Step at a Time" was truly a life saver for me. It really had so many great tips and checklists that it made organizing for Calan so easy. Here is what it suggests for diaper bags:

• Diapers (duh, I usually pack 2 extras.)
• Wipes (I use disposable wipes still, just because it is easier for me, but you can do cloth. Just wet a few cloth wipes and keep them in a Ziploc bag or small wet bag. I just found that I did not use them enough and didn't want them to get gross smelling before I used them. I know, for the most part, the disposables are ready to go.)
• Changing pad (If you pack your bag with prefolds, you can always use those to save space. But most bags, come with a pretty compact changing pad.)
• Bibs (Calan is an insane drooler. I usually have 2-4 bibs in my bag at anytime)
• Bottle and formula (This does depend on when and where we are going, but I usually do have enough food for one bottle in his bag.)
• Bottle water (I do not pack this. But if you are a mom who wants to make sure that you have water and enough to make you babies bottle with, you might want it. I usually just fill his bottle with water before we go.)
• Snacks (Calan doesn't eat a lot of snacks, but a small thing of Cheerios is in there in case I need to entertain him for a little while.)
• Pacifer (Calan never used one, so never had one in our bag.)
• Toys (Plenty of these. Always need something to keep him entertained.)
• Recieving blanket (Nope, don't have this in there, but did when he was a newborn. Never know when you might let him lay on the ground or something like that.)
• Camera (Not always in there. I usually throw this in my purse if I want to take it.)
• Antibacterial hand cleaner (I don't keep this either. If I need something, I usually use one of his wipes.)
• Cosmetic-type bag (This is to organize things like baby orajel, pacifers, and nail clippers. But I definitely do not have this in mine. Totally not needed.)
• Empty Ziploc bag (For unexpected diaper changes and you don't have anywhere to dispose of your disposable diaper. I obviously do not have this one because we cloth diaper. I have a wet bag instead to put my dirty diaper in when we are out and about.)

Stuffed diaper bag. If you are picking out a diaper bag,
make sure to find one with tons of inner pockets. They
really help to keep you organized.  

Everything that was in the bag. (Clockwise) Changing pad,
toys, wipe case stuffed with disposable wipes, extra cloth
wipes in case they are needed, container of Cheerios,
formula divided container, bottle filled with 6 oz. of water,
2 bibs, 2 burp cloths, extra outfit, 2 cloth diapers,
medium-size wet bag, diaper cream, and sunscreen.

I do have a few items that I would add to the Organzed Mom list. I keep sunscreen, diaper cream, an extra outfit for baby, and burp cloths in there, as well as when I was nursing, a cover-up.  

For cloth diapering, I would say my only extra thing is my wet bag. Everything else is normal. Yes, my cloth diapers take up a little extra room, but overall it is the same as any other mother's diaper bag. 

Our new, large diaper bag that will be great for all-day trips
and our daily diaper bag that we use now.

When I have 2 babies, I am pretty sure that my standard diaper bag will be plenty for the day-to-day trips to the store or whatever. My mother-in-law got me a great (and large) Vera Bradley tote bag for longer all-day trips. 

Some ideas I have to keep myself organized is to keep a checklist in my diaper bag. Not sure how my brain will be working once the baby is here, but right now pregnancy brain is killing me. I am a little nervous thinking about everything that I need to remember for 2 babies and myself. I think having a checklist handy to peak at will help me until I can remember everything on my own. 

I also try to keep things in the bag that never come out unless they need to be cleaned. For example, we all have a few outfits that aren't our favorites in our kids' wardrobes. Those are the outfits that I keep in the diaper bag in case I need it. (Though I have found that once I use it, I do forget to put a new one in. Hence, the need for the checklist.) Snacks, toys, sunscreen, travel diaper cream, and changing pad are always in there too. 

Calan in our new diaper bag about a month
or so ago to give you an idea of size.
It is BIG!

UPDATE: Calan's fingers are healing nicely, the doctor says

Yesterday, Calan had his first post-op appointment with his plastic surgeon to see how his hand is healing. I am not sure what I was expecting at the appointment, but I thought for the most part it would be healed. But, it is a wound and it needs time. Needless to say, we go back next week.

Calan has been acting so normal and perfect that I just thought when the doctor took off his wrap his fingers would look perfect with a little scarring. That is not how it looks. His fingers are still swollen. There is still blood clotted around his stitches and his skin-graph looks like a bad scab that hasn't hardened up yet. It looks pretty gooey to be honest.

I kept asking the doctor if he was sure it was looking how it should. He assured me that it was and that it was healing nicely. I told him I would have to take his word for it because as his mother it still looked pretty rough to me.

On the bright side, he is able to crawl around again. And man, a week off from crawling didn't slow him down a bit. He is everywhere and quickly. Elle (our dog) is not so sure about Calan's new freedom. Calan, however, is smiling and gleefully moving about our family room. I was also able to give him a real bath today and boy does he smell good. It is nice to have a clean kid. The sponge bath was only doing so much.

We go back next Wednesday for our next checkup. Hopefully, I will be more prepared and the wound will look like I had imagined it looking in my head.

Just excited and had to share

I sewed my own cloth diaper today. It is so cute. It is pale pink and adorable. I'm washing it right now, and tomorrow, I am going to try it out on Calan to make sure that it doesn't leak. If all goes well, I'm going to make two dark purple ones that will be newborn size this week. Expect a blog later on how I did it. I am just excited right now because I did it. I am not crafty at all and have never really sewed anything. My mom helped instructed me on my first one and then I was able to do one without any help. If everything works and they turnout, I will have spent $30 on 4 all-in-one fitted diapers with fabric left over to make more. (4 Bum Genius all-in-ones run $12.95 for x-small and $15.95 for small, which would cost $57.80 for what I made.)

The name game

The pressure, the pressure. How do you pick the right name for your baby? How do you know once you have the right name, if it really is the right name? Naming is such a difficult, but fun game while you are pregnant. I really take naming pretty seriously. I have some definite rules and guidelines that Bob and I try to follow. Some rules he doesn't understand, but they all make sense to me.

I have always loved the fact that my name has a story behind it. I have very few friends who don't know how I got my name. I tell everyone. I was the third baby in my family. My father believed whole heartedly that the only option was that I would be a boy and my name would be Joesph John Simons IV. Very few girl names were discussed. There was the chance I would be a Liesel, but overall the only option was Little Joey. Well, surprise, surprise, I am a girl. When I was born, the nurse who delivered me looked at my parents and said, "You don't have a little Joey; you have a little Jodie." And there you have it, and thankfully that nurse was there to save me from Liesel. I am named after my father.

I am pretty proud of that story and love that there is so much behind it. I want my children to have the same feeling toward their name. When they ask me years from now why we named them their name, I want to be able to tell them exactly why and how we came up with their name.

With a last name like Wilson, I do think that it is important to come up with a name that isn't on the most popular lists, but I don't want names that sound too different. I also do not want their initials to spell anything. My husband spells R.A.W. and, since I got married, mine spell J.E.W. I also do not like reusing names. For example, we had a girl name for Calan, but that was his girl name, so I won't use it this time around. If Calan ever asks me what his name would have been if he was a girl, I want to be able to tell him and it not be his sister's name. It was special to Calan even though he was a boy.

We decided on Calan for a few reasons. We decided that we liked the idea of Scottish names since my husband has quite a bit of Scottish blood in his background. The more common Scottish spelling of Calan is Caelan. We just took out the extra E. Bob's brother's name is Calvin, so we also liked that the name was similar, but not the same name. It also is a pretty uncommon name, but doesn't sound off-the-wall crazy. His middle name is obviously Bob's first name. That was an easy one. For those interested, if Calan was a girl, he would have been Andie Elizabeth. Andie because I like girl names that are unisex, but that aren't too trendy and Elizabeth because that is my middle name.

As you can see, I might completely over think names, but can you tell me who doesn't? It is so important. Sometimes I do wonder what other's were thinking. For example, I had a middle school principal whose name was Richard Bitter, and with Dick a nickname for Richard, what was his parents thinking naming their son a Dick Bitter. Just wrong. I also know a Dick Flasher, who actually went by Dick. Seriously.

This time, we have a girl name, but we aren't sharing. I am pretty nervous about it. I feel a bit of pressure this time around to come up with something similar to Calan. Everyone, even strangers, tell me they like his name. I need something that stands out the same way. The name we have chosen I wasn't too sure about it right away, but somehow it has grown on me. Somehow, I just keep reverting back to her name. It has become her name over time and at this point I can't imagine her name being anything different. I hope she likes it and her story behind it when she asks. (And yep, she had a boy name too specific to her.)

How do you pick your children's names?