Grateful Friday: The opportunity to nurse

I'll be honest when I dreamed of being a mom, nursing was the farthest thing from my mind. I didn't really care one way or the other. I never really sat and thought about it. That was until the opportunity was almost taken from me before I was even able to decide. 

When I was debating whether to have a single or double mastectomy, breast feeding all of a sudden became a big issue to me. Having children all of a sudden became a huge issue to me. I was facing the fact that I may or may not be able to have children after chemo therapy and if I did have children, I may or may not be able to breast feed them. 

At that moment, I decided that not only did I want to be a mother (which I knew already), but that I wanted to be the best mother I could be. And at that moment that meant having the opportunity to breast feed my babies. I knew that I couldn't control what chemo did to my body (I understood that it needed to do what it needed to do), but I could control my surgery option. I had a hard time letting go.

I know that there are many reasons why women can't breast feed. I am just grateful that I was able to. Cancer didn't take that away from me. I am grateful that I was given the chance to try. 

I can already tell that my time of nursing Maisie is coming to an end. She is getting frustrated and starting to wean toward the bottle. I made it 5.5 months with Calan when he weaned and I thought it was because I was pregnant, but now that Maisie is weaning at about the same time, it might just be my supply issue. 

However, I am grateful that she and I had our time together and that I was given the opportunity to breast feed her. 

Happy Tidings

Our happy little bug. 

Maisie is successfully gaining weight. My little bug went from 10 pounds 12 ounces 2 weeks ago to a whooping 12 pounds 8 ounces. The doctor is happy, I am thrilled, Maisie is amazing.

I am going to continue to supplement my breast feeding. While my breast milk obviously doesn't have enough calories for my little girl, it still has benefits that out way my giving up all together. She is happy getting both and I am happy giving both. Though I do have to say I did not miss bottles. Washing, preparing, and organizing is really a pain in the butt, but I got to do what I got to do.

Other than that, we are doing well here. A little stir crazy in the house, but not too bad.

Today I tried to do a craft with Calan. Totally was another fail. The kid just can't handle things sticking to his hands. Today, I tried to get him to glue cotton balls on a lamb and the second glue touched him, which was on the second cotton ball, craft time was basically over. I tried dipping and him pressing, but he was having none of that. Then I tried to make the lamb into a "Christmas" lamb by having him use red and green markers on the lamb. That worked a little bit, but not for long.

Not sure how to get him excited or willing to do crafts and learning activities. He just is not into them. I will keep trying though because they are great learning activities. One day hopefully he will catch on.

We are going to try painting cookie ornaments on Friday. Fingers crossed that goes better.

Our sad little lamb. 

Long and lean and stubborn

Despite my best efforts, Maisie just isn't gaining the weight she should be. 

Well, despite me feeding Miss Maisie around the clock and despite what seemed like a growth spurt this week, Miss Maisie only gained an ounce in 2 weeks. She should be gaining an ounce every 1 to 2 days. So gaining an ounce every 2 weeks not so good at all.

She is long and lean and only 10 lbs. 12 oz. Our plan now is to supplement.

The doctor thinks that I have enough milk, but it might just not have enough calories for her. Since I have been feeding on demand and she has been sleeping well and she still isn't gaining, I think our doctor might be right. When Calan was 4 months, he didn't gain as much as he should have too, but I thought that was because I was pregnant with Maisie. At about 4.5 months, I was feeding Calan two formula bottles a day and probably breastfeeding him 3 times a day. By 5.5 months, I was full-time, formula feeding him.

The goal is to have Maisie drink at least 8 oz. of formula a day on top of my breast feeding. I also am to mix a little cereal into her formula to help with her reflux instead of increasing the dosage on her medicine. The formula and cereal will be heavier in her stomach so it will be less likely to come back up. So in theory, that should help with her reflux pain that she seems to be still having. I really, really, really hope it works.

I know that there are probably some hardcore breastfeeding mommas who probably would suggest something different, but I have decided to go with our doctor. I just can't keep trying different things. I need to go with the sure bet, which is formula. She will get the calories she needs from that without a doubt in my mind. Our little girl needs to gain weight and quickly and that is what is most important right now.

I do hope that I have enough will power to continue breastfeeding on top of bottle feeding. I gave up with Calan sooner that I feel like I should have and I don't want to have the same regret this time.

I have tried the last 2 feedings to give her a bottle and she is not taking it from me. She is being quite stubborn only wanting my breast, which is pretty common with breastfed babies. In the past she has taken bottles just fine from my husband and mother-in-law. She is stubborn, but she doesn't realize that she gets that from me. I am pretty sure I will win out. We go back to get her weight checked December 14. Praying for a chunky baby by then.

On top of her weight stuff, we are also going to get her eyes checked. She is showing some signs of have less eye control than she should. She focuses well, but when her eyes are relaxed they roll back. While most likely it is nothing, we are still going to get it checked. Her appointment isn't till January 5. So, maybe by then it will have corrected itself.

Breastfeeding doll?? Umm. Not so sure about that

Have you guys heard of this? A breastfeeding doll. It was released in Spain 2 years ago and now is being released in the US. My first response was "Seriously!" and then it was "No Way!" and then it was "Is there a market for this?"

Here is the article I read about it:

Parents' fury as 'totally inappropriate' breastfeeding doll for young girls goes on sale in the U.S. 

A cloth diapering blog I follow posted the link on Facebook and it was kind of interesting reading some of the comments women had on it. First though I should tell you that the cloth diapering world is very pro-breastfeeding and living a natural life. But their comments made me wonder why I was so disgusted by the idea of a doll marketed to breastfeed. 

One woman commented that her daughter did not need a special doll to breastfeed. The daughter would see the mother breastfeed her baby brother and mimic it with her own doll. That comment made me wonder how many other little girls would do the same thing. Kids want to mimic their parents, so if you are a breastfeeding mother, wouldn't it be natural for your child to mimic you?

Other women commented on why was a breastfeeding doll not OK, but a over the top sexy  Barbie Dolls and those Bratz dolls (which I personally can't stand) are OK?

Why does breastfeeding make people cringe so much? I breastfed Calan and yet, it still kind of makes me cringe. I would definitely stare if I saw a woman breastfeeding in public, but a woman feeding her baby with a bottle I would not think twice about. Why is that? What in our society has made breastfeeding a taboo thing? Isn't it one of the most natural and best things we can do for our children? 

Could this doll or ones like it help change the taboo label? 

Not sure that a $100 doll is the answer, but not sure that it is totally a bad idea either. Where do you guys stand?