Embrace the Craziness

It goes with out saying that there is never a dull moment when you have kids. I remember times when Maisie was still nursing and Calan still needed a lot of foods cut up that I would be feeding the 2 of them and myself all at the same time. I remember sitting back and just thinking how nuts it all was and if anyone else saw me right now, they would think I was nuts too. I felt like I belonged in a zoo. But the fact is life with kids is a zoo, but aren't zoos suppose to be fun?

The more I enjoy the craziness, the less it seems crazy to me. I don't think I will ever feel like I have enough arms and hands to do everything that needs to be done. Life is no doubt full of craziness. But this is all such a short time in my life that if I don't embrace it now, I will miss it.

When Calan is up rocking half the night or Maisie decides to be up at 5:30 a.m., I remind myself how quickly they will be teenagers that won't wake up till noon. I feel like I will miss these times then. That doesn't mean that there aren't nights that I want to strap Calan to his bed so he stops rocking; it just means I try not to dwell on it.

There is no doubt that most of the time I feel like a chicken with its head cutoff. But the more I embrace the craziness, the more peace I have that I didn't have during Calan's first year. I feel like I am enjoying them more.

The more I release control, the more I get to enjoy my kids. And isn't that what we want to do? I want to look back and think that I really did enjoy them as infants and toddlers. I am not just waiting for them to get older and for life to get easier. The fact is that life never gets easier. Life is different, yes, but easier, no. There are always new obstacles and challenges.

There is something to be said about not looking to the past and not looking too much to the future. If we embrace our present craziness, we can actually see the fun in it all.

My kids most definitely keep me on my toes, but they are seriously two of the most amazing people I know (I might be a little bias here of course). I love watching them explore and learn knew things. If I am too concerned with keeping life at a dull hum then I miss out on all the fun craziness and joy that they bring to my life.

So embrace the craziness. Let go of unreal expectations. And go a little nuts.

Mother-2-Mother is a blogging series where I am sharing some advice that I tend to give friends when they ask. Take from it what you will. Parenting is a touchy subject. I am by no means telling you how to parent. 

One Proud Momma

The shirts I made for the kids with an iron-on applique.

May 2010 - 36 weeks pregnant with Calan.

Last night, I drove around for about 2 hours trying to find a plain white T-shirt for my son. (Why is there no plain shirts in 2T anywhere?) I needed it for Saturday. I needed to make sure that my kids had matching outfits. It is important to me.

Why is it so important? Because on Saturday, I will once again be walking in the Detroit Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. The last 2 years, I was very pregnant in my survivor shirt. This year, I will be pushing a decked-out double stroller with the 2 best accessories ever - My babies. 

My husband asked me last night why it mattered so much and it is because I want to be an inspiration to someone else. I want someone else to see that cancer was by no means the end of me. My life has quickly moved on and it is amazing. I am proud to be the mother and survivor. On Saturday I get to show off both. It is important. 

May 2011 - 31 weeks pregnant with Maisie.

It is sometimes hard to see what life is going to be like after cancer. For me, it was hard to be done with treatment and not sure what the next step would be. One day you are battling cancer, and the next, you are just back to normal life. You don't know how much cancer will affect the rest of your life, and for everyone, it is different. But, I hope some young girl sees me walking with my double stroller and realizes there is so much more after cancer. 

My kids are my proof that cancer did not win. My kids are my hope that my future is endless. 

I am out of here

My bags are packed and I am ready to go. 

I am officially going away this weekend without my husband and without my kids. I can not even tell you the last time I went somewhere without my husband. I think that it was a bachelorette party weekend in San Antonio in 2009. I have only been away from Calan for 2 nights. One night we were gone for a wedding and of course one night when Maisie was born. And I have never been away from Maisie.

Why is it so hard for women to just go away? I feel like my husband has golf weekends and man weekend offers all the time, but for some reason us women are less likely to actually plan a weekend away.

I think  that is rather sad. We need time away to refresh and to miss our loved ones. We take such care of everyone else that time for ourselves is hard to come by.

I know I get caught in the trap that I say that I should go or do something, but nothing ever happens. Getting a pedicure is about as far as I go to treating myself.

Don't you think that is a little sad? I do.

I am so grateful that I get to go away this weekend. We should do it more often and not just say that we are going to do it more. ACTUALLY DO IT!

So what am I doing this weekend? I am going away with hundreds of women from my church to a summer camp location 3 hours away. I'll be taking a Zumba class, riding a horse, trying out a zip line to just name a few things.

I loved summer camp as a kid. I went every summer and was even a camp counselor the summer after I graduated high school.

I can not wait to be a kid again! See you on Sunday kiddos. Mommy does love you.

We made it through

Between sickness, horrible sleeping, late work hours, and the passing of 2 grandparents (my grandfather last Sunday and Bob's grandmother), I am not sad to see March go. I am however grateful that we made it through.

It wasn't easy. I was pretty sure that I was going to loose my mind, but I didn't. We made it though. We survived.

I joke about mommy milestones (each time I do something I didn't know I could or would do), and to me last month was another mommy milestone. Life wasn't easy and I was tired most of the time, but I didn't go crazy and I think I only had one meltdown (I think).

Despite everything going on, we still had some great moments like Maisie learning to crawl and Calan going to the driving range. We didn't just stop our lives because times were hard. We kept moving along.

I know that life isn't always rosy and that struggles will always exist, but last month was rough and I actually feel a little empowered having made it through. I feel a little more energized heading into this new month knowing we made it through last month. I am happy for spring and all the new things to do and explore.

March you were rough. April be nice!

Hello, Sun. How are you?

Today's gratefulness is a no-brainer. I am absolutely grateful for the warm weather and sunshine. I think without it I might have gone insane this week, but I am happy to say that I am happy and joyful instead. 

It is no secret that last week (and the 2 weeks before) have been pretty stressful and hard. With the kids sick, us stuck inside, and Bob working a ton, I was ready to pull my hair out. But then the sun came out. All my worries and stresses washed away. 

I have been in the best mood this week. I have had a ton of fun with my kids. We have soaked in the sun. 

It is amazing what a little sunshine and warm weather can do for the soul. I truly believe that winter only makes me appreciate nice weather even more. Even though we had an extremely mild winter, it was still dreary, and sick kids, no matter the weather, are instant energy zappers. 

I needed a break. And even with Bob still working a ton, the sun gave me the break I so desperately needed.

This week, we played in our backyard, went to story time, ate out, enjoyed lunch at a park with friends, and played and played and played. Have I mentioned how grateful I am?

And while the sun is not shining now, and yesterday there were tornadoes in Michigan, I am so grateful that the weather is starting to change and more sunshine is on its way. 

Grateful for unconditional understanding

I could name a million things as to why I am so grateful for my husband and I am pretty sure that over time I will share many of them with you, but this past week, I was reminded again how understanding he is. To say that I am unconditionally loved is an understatement.

I have screwed up many times over the 12 years that we have known each other. Probably the worst was two weeks before our wedding. I won't go in to details, but let's just say it included me getting us kicked out a MSU football game and losing my cell phone and credit card (alcohol was involved). I was pretty sure the next morning when we woke up he was going to leave. I woke up first staying completely still, not wanting to wake him up, so afraid of what might happen in the aftermath. And when he woke up, he rolled over and hugged me. All of my fears disappeared and I knew how unconditionally loved I was. 

Now, this past week, I did nothing like that. It was not nearly as bad, but it still reminded me that Bob is just such an understanding guy and he knows what is important. 

Last Friday, I was out and about with the kids using our double stroller. I went shopping, got what I needed, and went home. Three days later, I went out again and at the store, realized the double stroller was not in the car. I thought my husband must have taken it out at some point. Oh well. 

Well, that wasn't the case. It seems that in my rush the past Friday, I put both kids in the car, but the double stroller did not make it. I left it on the sidewalk. And of course, did not realize it till 5 days later. Yep, I am rock star. 

Bob's reaction: It's replaceable. 

Unconditional love and understanding. 

Thank goodness it was a garage-sale find and we are not out $500 or more. But we now have to find another double stroller. Yeah us. Let the search begin. 

Good-bye stroller. You are replaceable.

31 Small Things to be Grateful For ...

I meant to do this last week in honor of my birthday and just did not have a chance.

1. Being able to drink more than one cup of coffee in the morning
2. This blog and blogs I love to read
3. Facebook (it is my outlet to the world)
4. iPhone (so many ways to entertain myself and Calan although he isn’t allowed to touch it.)
5. Having a local year-round farmers market
6. My new washer and dryer and vacuum (domestic goddess, I know)
7. A husband who loves that we use cloth diapers and regularly tells me how he hates the smell of disposables when he has to change Calan at night.
8. Not nursing or being pregnant at the same time (not a huge difference in my life, but still nice to know someone else’s health is not directly linked to mine)
9. Having friends who are also stay-at-home moms
10. English toffee cookies
11. The PBS Sprout channel
12. Our space heater that we lovingly call “The Vornando” (the brand)
13. When both kids nap at the same time
14. Friday nights and Saturday mornings and Sunday dinners
15. When my kids just wake up and feel so warm and snuggly
16. When Bob does the dishes for me
17. Still having childhood friends
18. Living on a budget (makes money arguments and worries basically disappear though it does take a few months to get use to)
19. Not having to work
20. Living a few miles away from the Detroit zoo
21. Other crafty women who think of great ideas
22. Not having to figure out how to find a non-family member babysitter
23. The opportunity to go up north to multiple locations during the summer
24.  No car payments
25. The room changes we made before Maisie was born. They have really opened up our house and made it feel more like a home.
26. Bath time for  my little ones
27. “Footloose” (the 80s version). It just puts me in a good mood. I have so many good memories attached to that song.
28. Sushi and Chinese food
29. That I never dated in my 20s
30. This warm winter (it freaks me out, but makes it easier to go out with the kids)
31. And of course having our first 2 children so close in age (I love that they are siblings)

Grateful Friday: Chance to say goodbye

My Oma and Opa and I at my college graduation in 2003.

Well, this weekend is not going to be the easiest for me. I am taking off today to say goodbye to my grandmother. She has not been well for several years, but knowing that this is the last time is not easy.

I'll be honest, I have not seen my grandmother in more than a year. I do not want to come off as insensitive or too upset. The fact is that I have watched all of my grandparents and one great-grandparent get old. I have watched them live their lives to the fullest. I have been lucky enough to be at a point where none of them were taken (as some might say) before their time.

I am so grateful to have known all of my grandparents. My grandfather passed away almost 3 years ago and now my grandmother will be joining him.

I am grateful to be able to celebrate a life versus mourn a death. And my dad's parents were larger than life. Until their health started to fail, they were the life of the party. Always the storytellers. My grandmother's birthday is a week from today (a day after mine).

I have been told I don't have to go this weekend. But I regret not being there when my grandfather actually passed. I should have gone. I am grateful this time that I have time to go up and say goodbye.

I am grateful to my family (my father, aunts, and uncles) who took care of my grandmother. They basically put their lives on hold to care for her. They promised my grandfather that they would and they did.

While I am not extremely close to my grandparents, I am grateful that they were/are there. I know that I took it for granted and I am sorry for that.

(I should say that both of my mom's parents are still in my life.)

Grateful Friday: Family Saturday mornings and Sunday dinners

When you have small children, sleeping in late, being lazy all day, or eating ice cream for breakfast are not exactly possible. For awhile, I think, we tried to fight it. We tried to pass off days and hope that one of us got to sleep while the other took care of Calan. And with Maisie, forget it; we both have to be up for the most part. Seven A.M. seems so much earlier on a Saturday than any other day.

This summer we unconsciously embraced our early Saturdays. We started to use that time rather than just moving around moaning how tired we were. We get up and kind of rush around a bit to get us out of the house. We go out to breakfast and then head to our local farmers market, which is open year-round.

I am so grateful for that time together. We get a big Saturday morning breakfast without all the dishes for me to clean up and I get half of my grocery shopping done.

I am hopeful that as the kids grow, we will continue to do this. I hope that they enjoy and look forward to it as much as Bob and I do.

On Sundays, we get together with my in-laws. And yes, this happens every Sunday. And yes, we like spending time together and enjoy each others company. We get together, eat dinner, relax, play cards (euchure of course), and get ready for the week ahead. Just like our Saturday mornings, Sunday family dinners started unconsciously and it has been going on for probably 2 years. We rotate between my father-in-law's house, our house, and my brother-in-law's. The hosting house makes the main course and we all bring something. We live within 3 miles of each other.

I am so grateful that we get together as a family and that my children get to see some of their aunts and uncles on a regular basis.

My life is full of routines and simple joys. I do not live a crazy, fast-paced life. I live the life of a mom with 2 children younger than 2 and for now, I am grateful for my Saturday mornings and Sunday evenings with my family.

(P.S. Thanks to all my new followers!)

Grateful Friday: The opportunity to nurse

I'll be honest when I dreamed of being a mom, nursing was the farthest thing from my mind. I didn't really care one way or the other. I never really sat and thought about it. That was until the opportunity was almost taken from me before I was even able to decide. 

When I was debating whether to have a single or double mastectomy, breast feeding all of a sudden became a big issue to me. Having children all of a sudden became a huge issue to me. I was facing the fact that I may or may not be able to have children after chemo therapy and if I did have children, I may or may not be able to breast feed them. 

At that moment, I decided that not only did I want to be a mother (which I knew already), but that I wanted to be the best mother I could be. And at that moment that meant having the opportunity to breast feed my babies. I knew that I couldn't control what chemo did to my body (I understood that it needed to do what it needed to do), but I could control my surgery option. I had a hard time letting go.

I know that there are many reasons why women can't breast feed. I am just grateful that I was able to. Cancer didn't take that away from me. I am grateful that I was given the chance to try. 

I can already tell that my time of nursing Maisie is coming to an end. She is getting frustrated and starting to wean toward the bottle. I made it 5.5 months with Calan when he weaned and I thought it was because I was pregnant, but now that Maisie is weaning at about the same time, it might just be my supply issue. 

However, I am grateful that she and I had our time together and that I was given the opportunity to breast feed her. 

What's going on?

I am a blog addict. I love reading about others' lives and struggles and tips and joys. I love connecting with people. I love writing out my thoughts. I love blogging.

I know that there are a ton of mommy blogs out there. I am just ready to be one of them. 

My goal for 2013 is to expand our small family blog. 

Over the last two weeks, I have changed a little how I post. Each day will be a new post that correlates with that day's theme. As you might have noticed over the last two weeks, I have started to do this. Here is what you will find:

Monday Game Plan: This is where you will find what we are hoping to accomplish this week and a quick review of what did or did not get done from the week before. I will also be posting our dinner menu with a few links to the recipes that I am using. Most of the recipes are easy to prepare and convenient for a mom with her hands full. I decided that this would be a good topic for those that might feel a little overwhelmed each day. Setting my weekly goals keeps me sane, so I thought they might help someone too. 

Toddler Tuesday: Who doesn't need more ideas on how to entertain their toddler? Each Tuesday, I will share an activity or craft that I have done with my crazy toddler. I feel like he is a good test model since he has the patience of a fly, so if i can get him to do it than most likely your child will too. 

Wordless Wednesday: I am sure if you follow any blogs regularly, you might have come across a Wordless Wednesday somewhere else. On Wednesdays, I will share fun photos of my little ones from that week. What mom doesn't like to show off a little? 

Anything Goes Thursday: Here is where I will discuss any parenting issues, tips, or thoughts. Anything that is on my mind like cloth diapering for those who have liked those posts in the past. 

Grateful Friday: I will share anything I am grateful for (obviously). As my life gets busier and busier, it is nice to remember all that I am grateful for. For me it is a great way to refresh and get excited about the weekend. 

Although my daily blogs cover a lot of what I want to blog about, I will share more recipes, crafts, tips, thoughts, etc. throughout the week. My daily blogs are just a starting point of what to expect from Wilson's (almost) Irish Twins. 

I have also set up a Facebook fan page for the blog to better connect with readers as well as friends and family. Be sure to become a fan and share with your friends, too. 

Happy Blogging!

Grateful Friday: Healthy Kids

Well, it is official. My 18-month streak of healthy children is over. Calan finally got sick for the first time, and it was not fun.

He seems to have picked up a stomach bug on Christmas. A few other kids who were there got sick as well. He was whiny, tired, and nothing seemed to make him completely happy for long.

But I am grateful that it was only a 24-hour bug. I am grateful that this was our first time with a sick kid and I am grateful that we were at my mom's and she was able to help us.

Calan getting sick did keep us home bound on vacation. We did not get to do all the things I wanted to, but it was nice to just relax too. I did get to visit my grandfather, have lunch with my mom, and go on a date with Bob.

We ended up staying an extra day because of snow and that gave Calan one more day to rest and sleep. We are heading home now and Calan is laughing and talking to himself as he reads a book.

I most definitely hope that we won't have a sick kid for another 18 months, but I don't think I will be that lucky. Until then, I am grateful for our health.

Grateful Friday: Peaceful Holiday

So I totally should have saved yesterday's blog for today, but oh well, I could probably write a new blog every day about things that I am grateful for, but I won't. I will save them for Fridays. Today, I am most grateful for a peaceful holiday. 

I say it every year. (Don't we all?) That next year I won't let the holidays get the best of me. That each year, I will enjoy Christmas and that it won't get out of control. That Christmas won't get the best of me and that I will remember what Christmas is really about. Christ and family. 

I am happy to say that I have never felt more at peace and excited about Christmas. We have a busy few days, but everything seems so manageable and (dare I say) fun. I usually have something that I am stressing about that is usually out of my control, but has me worried anyways. 

I can't quite pinpoint why this year is different. Why this year is more peaceful than years past. But it is and I am thanking God for the wonderful feeling. It is great. 

I am enjoying each day we are spending as a family. I am loving Bob being home. I am loving Calan and Maisie and all the laughter that is filling our house. I wish I could bottle this feeling and saved it for a rainy day when I want to throw in the in the towel. But today, I am grateful for peace of mind. 

Merry Christmas.