Grateful Friday: The opportunity to nurse

I'll be honest when I dreamed of being a mom, nursing was the farthest thing from my mind. I didn't really care one way or the other. I never really sat and thought about it. That was until the opportunity was almost taken from me before I was even able to decide. 

When I was debating whether to have a single or double mastectomy, breast feeding all of a sudden became a big issue to me. Having children all of a sudden became a huge issue to me. I was facing the fact that I may or may not be able to have children after chemo therapy and if I did have children, I may or may not be able to breast feed them. 

At that moment, I decided that not only did I want to be a mother (which I knew already), but that I wanted to be the best mother I could be. And at that moment that meant having the opportunity to breast feed my babies. I knew that I couldn't control what chemo did to my body (I understood that it needed to do what it needed to do), but I could control my surgery option. I had a hard time letting go.

I know that there are many reasons why women can't breast feed. I am just grateful that I was able to. Cancer didn't take that away from me. I am grateful that I was given the chance to try. 

I can already tell that my time of nursing Maisie is coming to an end. She is getting frustrated and starting to wean toward the bottle. I made it 5.5 months with Calan when he weaned and I thought it was because I was pregnant, but now that Maisie is weaning at about the same time, it might just be my supply issue. 

However, I am grateful that she and I had our time together and that I was given the opportunity to breast feed her.