Feeling a bit sentimental these days

I am in full-on birthday-party mode. Calan will be 2 on Sunday. I will be the mother of a 2-year-old. OH MY GOSH. Where did the time go?

I will no longer have 2-under-2. I will have a 1- and 2-year-old. When did that happen?

I look back to Calan's first birthday and can't believe that he was so little when I thought he was so big and can't believe I was so big, when I thought I was so little. I was 9 months pregnant with Maisie and my big little guy wasn't even walking yet.

I am feeling a little sentimental for my newborn babies, my non-moving, sleep-on-you babies. My wiggly, can't sit still babies are all over the place now. Their getting into all kinds of mischief.

I just want to hold on to those little babies for a little longer. Calan now tells me to "Let Go" when I have hugged him too long. I just want to hold him all the time.

I had to buy Maisie some 18 month summer clothes because she is already busting out of her 12 month clothes. She is so tall her shorts barely go over her fluffy butt and her Buddha belly is hanging out of her shirts.

I am now cooking for a family of 4. Maisie is eating basically everything that we are eating during meals. Unless I am being lazy, she rarely has pureed baby food anymore.


Everything feels like it is happening too quickly for me. I want to savor this year for a little longer. I want my babies to be just like they are for just a little longer.


I want Calan to sing at the top of his lungs "Farmer and the Dell" all the time. I want him to count "2, 3, 6, 1, 2, 3, 5" again and again. I want him to mumble prayers and say "Amen" when I am taking too long to say them so he can start eating. I want him to say "Dank you" when I hand him what he wants and "sure" when I finally repeat what he was trying to ask correctly forever.


I want Maisie to smile with her 4-tooth grin all day long. I want her to try and escape out of our family room and smile back at me to only turn and move faster wiggling her little butt. I want her to raise her hands above her head when I enter a room every time because she is so happy to see me. I want her to bee-line to any shoe left in her reachable space forever.


I want to remember it all. I am not ready for this season to be over. I thought I would be, but I am not. I love having 2 babies. I love watching them grow, but growing means one day they won't be babies anymore.

I know that they will always be my babies. I am just feeling a bit sentimental right now. I just want to hold on for a little bit longer. This momma isn't ready to let go.

Love that this little guy made me a mom. 

The picture I used to announce I was pregnant on Facebook.

Calan's first trip to the zoo. 

First birthday

My two babies. 

4-Eyes

Maisie has glasses! These cute pink-framed specs will hopefully strengthen her eyes to fix some cross-eyeing she still does. She is just a little bit far-sighted, but when she focuses, she tends to go cross-eyed favoring her right eye. 

Happy Father's Day

Celebrated with a few gifts, decorations, and homemade cinnamon rolls. 

Calan was not into picture taking. Love toddlers. 

Passed out after church.


Here are the links to items I used to make our Father's Day special: Father's Day decorations printable, picture frame printable, cinnamon roll recipe.

It's OK to shower

It is so easy to loose track of yourself when you have a newborn. It is so easy to start feeling like the feeding machine (or cow) rather than a mother or woman. It is so easy to get stuck in a rut. It is so easy to start feeling less than you are. To me it is a slippery slope that I swear starts with a shower. 

A shower refreshes you. A shower reminds you that you are more than a feeding machine. A shower reminds you that you are still human. 

I swear that taking a shower daily kept me sane during the newborn stage of my children. Lack of sleep, lack of time, lack of a life, it all can feel overwhelming at the time. But by taking a shower, I felt renewed each morning.

It is so hard sometimes to take 30 minutes for ourselves when another human being is completely dependent on us. But I swear to you, that if you take that 30 minutes to get showered and dressed and maybe even a little makeup, you will feel 100% better, more focused, and more in control of your day

Now, don't get me wrong. There are days that I don't shower, but 9 times out of 10, I do. I make time in our schedule for me to do it. If I was a working mother, I would shower and make the time, why shouldn't I do it even though I am staying home? 

Some mothers might love the fact that they get to stay in PJs for as long as they want as a stay-at-home mom and I can respect that. I just choose to shower because of how it makes me feel and I need to get my day started with a shower (and coffee). 

It is OK to put a priority on ourselves especially when dealing with a newborn and all the hormone issues that follow that. 

When I had Maisie, that first week home I tried to shower when I could. It was kind of a joke with me that either I had time to shower and blow-dry my hair or shower and put on makeup, but doing all 3 seemed impossible. However, it got better, we got more on a routine, and I was able to do all 3 in 30 minutes. 

Now, I know that their are babies that cry A LOT, which can make it hard for a mother to make time for a shower. But, I think those mothers need a shower the must just to refresh their spirit and patience. While not ideal, it is OK for your baby to cry. You might not be able to find 30 minutes, but even a 5 minute shower is better than nothing. Don't you think? I do. 

I have never been a mom who could wake up before her children, so I have always had to figure out a time to do it. Here are my tips on how to fit in a shower:

• Pick a safe space for your baby that you know you can let them be for at least 30 minutes. Before my kids were moving, I put them on their play mat or bouncy chair either in the bathroom or outside the door. After that stopped working, I used our pack-and-play and after that I utilized their bedroom. (I think that it is actually good for kids to play by themselves and not be able to see you during that time.)
• Schedule it. If you want to shower in the morning, work it into your daily routine. I usually shower after breakfast. Calan is usually playing in his room and Maisie is either napping if it is later than 9 a.m. or she is playing in her pack-and-play. 
• Let your children know what you are doing. All I have to do is tell Calan that mommy is taking a shower and he needs to play in his room till I am done and he does it. He doesn't try to leave his room or destroy his room. He usually sits in his chair and either reads, looks out the window, or plays with his cars. 
• Stay consistent. Like anything, with repetition it gets easier to figure out. Like I said at first, I couldn't seem to get it all done at once, but soon it all fell into place and I am showered with hair and makeup done usually by 9:30.

Mother-2-Mother is a blogging series where I am sharing some advice that I tend to give friends when they ask. Take from it what you will. Parenting is a touchy subject. I am by no means telling you how to parent. 

Not a normal week

If you are going to be stuck in a hospital room, this is the view you want. 

Well, this week has been anything other than normal. I spent most of the week by myself in a hospital watching my dad sleep on a ventilator. Sounds like fun, right?

Last Wednesday, my father had a heart attack while driving. His heart stopped and he drove straight into a tree. Thank God for the accident. It saved his life. If he had been home alone, he would have died. Thank God, he ran into a tree and not anyone else. Thank God, EMS was actually 2 doors down from the accident helping someone else and were able to get to my dad and get his heart started before it was too late. Praise God.

But, not everything has gone smoothly and because of the way my father lives his life, everything after his quadruple bypass has been anything other than standard. God has kept him a live and given him the most wonderful staff who have been amazing helping my dad get through all of this.

Like maybe some of you, I do not have the best relationship with my father, but when it comes down to it, I know that he is still my father and deserves to be treated like a human being and with compassion. Though, I swore I would not sit by his hospital bed and that is exactly what I ended up doing because it is what needed to be done.

He had his surgery on Friday, but had to remain sedated so he did not hurt himself or others till Tuesday morning. As of this morning, they should be moving him out of ICU and onto the cardiac floor today.

I was with my dad Sunday evening till Wednesday afternoon. He lives 4 hours away; so that left Bob to be a stay-at-home dad. He was amazing and completely supportive.

I missed my babies terribly. It was lonely being up there. I am use to lots of hugs and kisses and a comatose post-op patient isn't the best company. I basically put the pedal to the metal all the way home on Wednesday so I could see them before they went to bed. Calan jumped for joy; Maisie was pretty reserved and a little freaked out, but I was so excited to be home.

My dad has a long way to go, but for right now, he is doing good and I am glad to be home.

Embrace the Craziness

It goes with out saying that there is never a dull moment when you have kids. I remember times when Maisie was still nursing and Calan still needed a lot of foods cut up that I would be feeding the 2 of them and myself all at the same time. I remember sitting back and just thinking how nuts it all was and if anyone else saw me right now, they would think I was nuts too. I felt like I belonged in a zoo. But the fact is life with kids is a zoo, but aren't zoos suppose to be fun?

The more I enjoy the craziness, the less it seems crazy to me. I don't think I will ever feel like I have enough arms and hands to do everything that needs to be done. Life is no doubt full of craziness. But this is all such a short time in my life that if I don't embrace it now, I will miss it.

When Calan is up rocking half the night or Maisie decides to be up at 5:30 a.m., I remind myself how quickly they will be teenagers that won't wake up till noon. I feel like I will miss these times then. That doesn't mean that there aren't nights that I want to strap Calan to his bed so he stops rocking; it just means I try not to dwell on it.

There is no doubt that most of the time I feel like a chicken with its head cutoff. But the more I embrace the craziness, the more peace I have that I didn't have during Calan's first year. I feel like I am enjoying them more.

The more I release control, the more I get to enjoy my kids. And isn't that what we want to do? I want to look back and think that I really did enjoy them as infants and toddlers. I am not just waiting for them to get older and for life to get easier. The fact is that life never gets easier. Life is different, yes, but easier, no. There are always new obstacles and challenges.

There is something to be said about not looking to the past and not looking too much to the future. If we embrace our present craziness, we can actually see the fun in it all.

My kids most definitely keep me on my toes, but they are seriously two of the most amazing people I know (I might be a little bias here of course). I love watching them explore and learn knew things. If I am too concerned with keeping life at a dull hum then I miss out on all the fun craziness and joy that they bring to my life.

So embrace the craziness. Let go of unreal expectations. And go a little nuts.

Mother-2-Mother is a blogging series where I am sharing some advice that I tend to give friends when they ask. Take from it what you will. Parenting is a touchy subject. I am by no means telling you how to parent. 

Mother-2-Mother: You are your child's mother

I have had a few friends asking for a little advice lately, so I thought maybe it would be time for me to start my first series of blogs based on that very topic. I am not a perfect parent, nor do I have perfect children. Over the last year or two, I have just learned a few things that I'd like to share. I don't usually offer up advice unless a friend asks. I just have found a few things that I tend to repeat to my friends who are new mothers. Those things are what I am going to share in this blog series. Take from it what you will. Parenting is a touchy subject, so I am by no means telling you how to parent your child. So here is my first post:

You are Your Child's Mother

I truly believe that God gave me Calan and Maisie as a gift and that he is giving me the knowledge and guidance to be their mother. I am not any other child's mother. I do not know how to parent someone else's child. God did not bless me with someone else's child. I believe that I have the instincts and knowledge to be solely Calan and Maisie's mother.

We have natural instincts and nurturing abilities that are distinctly important to our children. You have to trust that you know how to be a parent to your child. A mother's intuition is nothing to laugh at. It is there and you have it.

I, of course, make mistakes all the time, but, I think, mistakes are necessary obstacles that help me get to where I need to be.

As a new mom, ask for help, advice, and parenting guidance. Let those who have done it help you, but remember that you know your child and what worked for someone else's child may not work for yours. It goes without saying that every child is distinctly different and you are a distinctly different mom. 

Why do I think this point is so important? Because it builds confidence.

If you believe that you know how to be your child's parent, than you can have confidence in the decisions you make for your child.

Every new mother worries. Every new parent wants the best for their child. Every child is a gift we don't want to screw up.

Have confidence that you are your child's mother and that you were designed specifically for that child.

Since this is my first time doing a series, please let me know how I am doing. Suggestions and advice and criticism would be greatly appreciated.  

Wordless Wednesday: Simple Pleasures

A borrowed fire truck, stroller rides and a special donut picnic with dad. Simplicity.

23 month / 10 month update

Well another month has gone by and my kids are getting closer to their birthdays. Can't believe that it was a year ago that I was pregnant taking care of a crawling Calan. My almost 2-year-old is running and climbing and playing and being every bit of the energetic toddler that he is. My almost 1-year-old who once was my fussy newborn is now the most easy going and joyful little girl.

This month was filled with fun events and trips and excitement. We were a family on the go!

Sleeping

• Calan still rocks, of course, but some days I think it is getting better, but then he has a bad night and I feel like it will never end. Luckily Maisie still does sleep through his noise-making, so only he and I are lacking sleep. However, his wakes do not seem to affect his mood. He is pretty happy for the most part. I really think that I need to stop stressing about it, but that is so much easier said than done. I just pray that God helps sooth him and he stops rocking soon. We have moved back his bedtime to 7:30 or 8:00 and that helps some with the winding down and falling asleep, but it has not seemed to help with the night wake ups. As for nap time, he is doing great, and he is still sleeping from 12:30 till at least 3. I usually do not let him sleep past 3:30 or he takes forever to fall asleep at bedtime. 
• Maisie is my sleeping goddess. We had a week there where she was waking early from naps, but I think that seemed to because of a Wonder Week. She seems back to her regular sleeping routine now. She sleeps an hour in the morning and 3 hours in the afternoon, but can skip or catnap her morning nap if we are out and about and is totally OK. I try not to make it a habit, but at least twice a week we skip the morning nap. At night she is sleeping from 7:30 till either 7/7:30. I have no complaints there. The are doing great sharing a room. Calan actually asks for her during naps, but I am not ready for them to nap together yet. Maybe soon though. 

Eating

• Calan has really started to eat less. He must not be going through any major growth spurts. He is eating more and more foods without battling me. However, we are still working on him not playing so much with his food. He is doing pretty well with a fork and spoon. Still messy, but definitely way better. 
• I have been trying to give Maisie some type of finger food at every meal. She has been doing great. She has 4 bottles a day (3-8 oz. and 1-6 oz.) and she has solids at 3 meals. Plus, she seems to only be allergic to scramble eggs so far. She has had banana bread and waffles and a few other things that contains eggs and she did not have a reaction. So that is great news. Hopefully, that means she will grow out of the allergy. This month, I will start to introduce her to a a sippy cup, so we shall see how that goes. 

Milestones 

• The kids had their first plane ride! Calan loved it. Both kids traveled pretty well. The plane ride was short, so there weren't any major meltdowns. Plus, Calan got to sit in the cockpit. He was in button heaven. The flight crew thought he was adorable. Luckily, my sister made traveling so easy by having car seats and pack-and-plays already for us once we got to Boston. Calan did not sleep that great and wanted to wake up at 5 each morning, but overall I would say the trip was a success and I would do it again. 
• Calan's vocabulary and independent thoughts have taking a whole new leap. He loves to sing everything and I amazed at how quickly he picks up a tune. Though it does take a mother's ear sometimes to figure out which song he is singing. His favorite by far right now is "Farmer and the Dell." He sounds hilarious when he says "Hi Ho the dairy oh." He loves playing with other children, but still doesn't always understand that he can't be so bossy (Is he my son or what?). The evil-toddler in him is starting to show its face. Lots of time-outs lately, but he is overall still pretty obedient. I can't say enough about how amazing it is to watch him turn into a little boy. 
• Maisie, who once was so fussy, seems to be happy all the time. She is perfectly content pulling herself up and crawling all around exploring everything. Rarely does she like to be held. She doesn't cry, but she wiggles right out of your hands. Maisie has really been developing her vocabulary this month. She has been so quiet for so long (she rarely coo-ed) that it is crazy to here her talk all the time. She has mastered da-da and ba-ba, but I still haven't heard a good ma-ma yet. 

Schedule

• Our regular schedule has been a bit all over the place with so many play dates and events and just being busy, but here is the bare bones schedule we are following:
• 7:30 a.m. - Wake up; Maisie bottle, Calan milk
• 8 a.m. - Breakfast
• 8:30 a.m.- Playing in the family room
• 9 a.m. - Maisie nap; I shower; Calan watches TV
• 10 a.m./10:30 a.m. - Maisie wakes up. 
• 11 a.m. - Maisie bottle
• 11:30 a.m. - lunch
• 12:30 p.m. - Both kids nap
• 3/3:30 p.m. - Wake up / Snack
• 6 p.m. - Dinner
• 6:30 p.m. - Bath time
• 7:30 p.m. - Bedtime

Overall

The kids have been healthy and happy. Calan is pushing limits and Maisie is exploring her boundaries. They are a handful, but such a blessing. I love having two babies. They keep life interesting and me on my toes, but I wouldn't want it any other way. 

Calan testing out the pilot's seat on our plane ride into Boston. 

Calan hanging out at his aunt and uncle's house

Maisie playing on our deck. She has to be contained because she loves to chew on sticks and leaves and rocks and anything else she can get her hands on.

Calan helping me make pizza for dinner. 

Out to lunch with dad

Loves to be standing near her brother. Where ever he is, she must be too.

Calan upset at a local truck event. He did not want to wait in line to touch and drive the trucks. 

He loved driving. It was  great event with trucks of every kind!

My little bug. 

It's just another Monday

How is it Monday already? I don't know about you, but our weekends just fly by. We had a great weekend spending time with friends and family. From BBQs to farmers market and from touching trucks to playing at church, we had a packed weekend at home.

On Saturday, we took Calan to a Tons of Trucks local event. He was in HEAVEN, but unfortunately the toddler in him was in full force. He wanted to drive every truck, but he had to wait his turn. Normally, he is pretty good about waiting, but I think trucks bring out the best and worst in him. Even Maisie was a little fussy because she didn't have a morning nap. While the event was great, it was not one of our better family moments. I think Bob and I were both sweating by the end of it. Calan loved it all, so I am sure we will go to similar events again, but pray that he acts a little lot better.

Plus, all my freezer meals have come in so handy. I love just opening the freezer and having so much to pick from. We ended up having Bob's extended family over on Sunday. Usually this takes a bit more planning than an invite on a whim. But, we made pork tenderloin and asparagus, and to fill out our menu, I just grab some of the chicken and broccoli with rice meal to use as a side dish. It was so stress free feeding 12 adults.

As for this week, we have a bit planned and bit up in the air.

Menu

• Monday: Leftovers (we had a bit of leftovers to use up from the weekend)
• Tuesday: Cheese burgers and sweet potato fries and apple slices
• Wednesday: BBQ Bacon Wrapped Chicken with broccoli and mashed sweet potatoes
• Thursday: Pork tenderloin and TBD sides
• Friday: Homemade pizza
• Saturday: Leftovers or Broccoli Chicken and Rice 
• Sunday: Family dinner

Events

• Monday: Mom's Club play date in the morning; meeting a friend at a park in the afternoon.
• Tuesday: Maybe a park play date in the morning with the Mom's Club or just sticking around home to get laundry and what not done. Plus, must mail Calan's birthday invites out.
• Wednesday: Maisie has a follow up eye doctor appointment. She was suppose to go in April, but I gave her eggs that morning and you know how that turned out. With the allergic reaction, we did not make the appointment. I think that she is still pretty near-sighted, so we shall see what they recommend for her age.
• Thursday: Maybe going to Kensington Park for Fun on the Farm - Sheep event and storytime
• Friday: CLEANING. It is a must
• Saturday: Finally able to celebrate with friends who got married in December. Bob and I will be gone almost all day. Bob's mom will be watching the kids. It should be a good time for Bob and I spend time together.
• Sunday: It will probably be a pretty regular Sunday for Bob and the kids, but I will be heading to a friend's wedding shower.