A little mommy prep

Good bye bad roots and dead ends, mommy needed a new look.

I am pretty sure that, once again, I will be seeing my due date come and go. I am not bitter or anything. OK, maybe I'm a bit bitter, but I am trying so hard to be patient. It isn't easy and I am not doing a good job of it.

So, to lift my spirits and get me focused and back into this pregnancy game, I spent the weekend doing a little mommy prep-work before the baby gets here.

I love pedicures. Pretty toes somehow
make me feel more ready for labor.
I can't explain, but they just do. 

First I FINALLY got my haircut and highlighted. My hair was way overdue for a little TLC. My last appointment was right before Thanksgiving if that tells you anything. My roots were bad; my dead ends were bad; my hair just looked homely.

Making the time to sit and get my hair done is not easy for me. I have no problem being away from my children, but somehow sitting getting my hair done for 2 hours just does not appeal to me right now. I would rather either be sleeping or running errands. However, I knew that it was time and that I needed to do it.

I loved every second of it. I needed the fresh look. My hair is now picture ready for whenever our little girl decides to make her appearance.

After my hair was freshly done, I headed to get a much needed pedicure. I am a true believer that every pregnant woman should have cute toes for when she goes into labor. The foot rub and special treatment just feels amazing at the tail end of pregnancy.

I topped off my afternoon with buying a new pair of pajamas for the hospital. Even though, I hope to be there only 24 hours like I was with Maisie, no one wants to spend that time in a hospital gown. However, I had summer babies, and it is most definitely not summer out this time. I knew I needed some warmer pajamas this time around.

I am now officially ready for this little girl to come. Now I just need to sit back, relax, and wait as patiently as I can.

T-minus 9 days till my due date.

Poor Third Child

There is no ifs, ands, or buts about it, having your third child is so different than your first. While I am so anxious to meet our little one, I have not even come close to finishing my to-do list. However, this time around, I feel no pressure to get it done. 

Her clothes are washed, but I have no idea what her coming home outfit will be. I had Calan and Maisie's picked out months before my due date. 

Holding my little guy after he was born. A first-time mother
absolutely in love and clueless. 

Her car seat is washed and ready, but any and all other newborn accessories (a.k.a. swing, bouncy seat, etc.) are still dismantled and in storage. And the car seat is in the basement and not installed in the car.

Her bedroom looks great, but her dresser is a shmorgishborg of her things just thrown in there. 

I have not bought or prepared any of my after care items. I actually have no idea where my breast pump is. Probably should find that soon. 

Holding my little Miss Maisie. Showered with make-up on.
Second-time mother already ready to go home. 

And even with all my anxiety of having a fast labor and delivering our child on the expressway, no hospital bag has been packed. 

But yet, I feel absolutely ready to have our child. Why? Because this is my third baby.

I packed my hospital bag for Calan at 34 weeks partly because my doctors feared I'd deliver early and had me doing Non-stress tests twice a week. He came at 41 weeks. Yeah not early at all. 

At the time, I had no idea how quickly I delivered, so I followed whatever pack-your-hospital-bag list I had found that included everything from music, computer, lotions, pictures, etc., etc. Many, many things I never needed, but I had it all. 

Now we are at our third child. If I went into labor this very second, I'd grab a pillow, a purse, and a camera, and head out the door. If I had time, I'd throw a quick bag together, but if I didn't have time, I know whatever I needed someone could bring to me, even a coming home outfit. It's not like I live in the U.P., back woods, or rural area. Everything is obviously accessible. 

And all the things that I haven't gotten done are seriously not anything that I need to get done. They are just if it happens it happens. 

Can you tell I am on my third child?

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I am the third child in my family. I feel a type of kindred spirit with this little one. So, I know all the benefits of having older siblings before you. 

By the time you get to the third, you just know everything will just work out and as long as the baby is fed, clothed, and dry, you are good to go. Anything else is just fluff. 

So, little third child, you are the lucky one. You get the relaxed, confident, third-times a charm mother and not the overbearing, pack rat, first-time crazy mother I once was. 

DIY Family Rules

Months ago, Bob and I sat down and decided on what our family rules would be, and it has taken me this long to finally finish the project.

It was one of those projects that I knew kind of what I wanted to do, but wasn't giving myself the time to finish it. I had all the parts, but putting it all together was another story. And there were mistakes along the way that stopped the project.

Moda Hometown Charm Pack by
Sweetwater

This past summer when I was at my mother's, I ran across Moda Hometown Charm fabric squares that I really liked the color combination for our family room. At the time, I had no idea how I was going to use them, but I decided that I needed them for something.

Then, during my MOPS fall sessions, it inspired our family to set up our family rules and our family mission statement. I knew then that my squares would be part of the project, but still didn't know how.

I designed our rules and mission statement in Photoshop and originally thought that I would Mod Podge them to canvas with the fabric squares around them, but that did not work out well. The paper bubbled horribly and it was not looking well at all.

Sometimes mistakes are meant to be. I think
they turned out better in the frames I found
on clearance at Micheal's.

After that, I tabled the project for awhile. We are talking 3 months. It was definitely becoming one of those projects that I thought I would never get done.

But, lucky for me, my nesting instincts kicked in and I needed to get this project done.

I was shopping at Micheal's for some odds and ends for the nursery and ran across some great frames on clearance. I knew right away, that they were just what I had been looking for to complete this project.

The sizes were perfect. The floating 8X10 center with a white mat border gave me exactly what I needed to finish the project.

I love it when you know in your mind what you want and you actually find it and it makes the project better than what you imagined in your head.

I used fabric Mod Podge to prepare the squares of fabric
for the project. Coating them first eliminated fraying
when I cut them for the prject. 

To make this project, I printed out our rules and mission statement on off white card stock, cut them to size, and used double-sided tape to keep them in place in the frames.

Next, I coated my fabric squares with fabric Mod Podge. Doing this first, made it so the fabric did not fray once cut. I then just cut and placed and organized the fabric along the white mat border provided with the frame. Once I liked what I had, I Mod Podged them down.

Even though this project took me months to complete, it was so simple and straight forward once I found all the pieces to make it work.

I love having a clear direction of our family on display where our family spends most of the time.

The frames flank our fire place in our family room. 

What do you think? How do you or would you display your family's rules in your home?

Linking to Thursdays are Your Day @ 52 Mantels

The love, the hate, and the testing

Sibling relationships are definitely different than any other relationship in your life. I have 2 sisters and a brother and we all have different relationships with each other; some healthy, some not so much.

Because of my own issues, I have always worried about what kind of relationships my children will build or destroy between each other. It was one of my main concerns having 2 girls since girls are truly more drama than boys. My sisters and I are in our thirties and drama is probably the best way to describe our relationships.

Sibling relationships was one of my main reasons for wanting children close in age. Calan will never remember a time when he was without Maisie. They are together for better or for worse.

My children have finally gotten to the age where they can love each other one second, hit each other the next, and then love each other again. The roller coaster has started.

Some times it is so amazing to watch them together and watch how Calan as the older, protective brother takes care of his sister. He always makes sure that she has what she needs (as long as it isn't something he wants.) He definitely sees her as a playmate.

Maisie adores Calan. She usually wakes up before he does from nap time and gets pretty upset when we can't go get him. She'll keep going to his bedroom door till it is time to wake him up too. She follows him every where.

However, they have also gotten to the age where fighting has started. Maisie is not the "give up whatever Calan wants" type of girl anymore. If she is playing with something and Calan tries to take it, she clearly yells no. If he gets it, she tries to grab it back. If that doesn't work, she cries and gets me. Calan on the same note won't give up a toy for Maisie and if she grabs it from him, he bops her on the head.

Oh, the fun we are having right now.

Two of our family rules are 1) Speak nicely to each other and 2) Never hurt one another. So the fighting, usually ends in time outs and apologies. Pretty sure as their mother, the time outs and apologies are basically useless since they fight 2 seconds later, but it is the best thing I have right now. After each time out, they have to apologize to the other and give a nice touch whether that is a hug or a kiss. Both of them have no problem apologizing and they both love hugging each other, so no big deal there either. I love how Calan always runs to Maisie saying "Sorry Maisie Daisy."

It is hard to stay on top of their fighting since they really are over it 2 seconds later. They really never seriously hurt each other, but if I am not addressing it now, I feel like it will only get worse as they get older. My thought is that their sibling is their first friend and should be treated better than other friendships. So, if they aren't speaking nicely or acting nicely toward each other, they need to be corrected by me.

I know that I will never be able to stop sibling rivalry, but I also want them to know how important it is to treat each other with respect and kindness. If I can instill that in them, I hope that they will build a healthy relationship well into the future.

They decided to lay down in the kitchen and pretend to sleep. Calan made the "beds"
with their blankets.

Night time quiet time. Calan sharing his blue blanket with Maisie since hers was in
their room. 

Potty Training: It has begun

Well. We did it. We took the parenting leap into potty training.

We were nervous. We weren't sure what we were doing. We didn't know if he was really ready. But we did it anyway.

It has not been great, but it hasn't been awful either. I think we are getting some where, but we aren't there yet.

We started the process Saturday by taking him out to buy special treats, a new potty, and underwear. We then sent him off to nap time with his last diaper on. When he woke up, it was go time.

There have been accidents, but nothing crazy or home-destroying. Here is a bit of our recap:

• We had a hard time getting into a flow with Calan. It took him a little while to get the whole wetness feeling. 
• He wants to get off the toilet quickly without exactly finishing, so we really have to push him to "empty." Once we started to do that we eliminated most of our accidents
• We are using pull-ups for nap times and bed times, which of course meant that he waited to poop till he was in his pull-up for nap time. It ended up being a bit of debacle because it gave him a bit of a rash, which made Sunday afternoon potty training a bit of a struggle, but his bottom is healing quickly because he isn't in a diaper. Hopefully this set back will be fixed tomorrow. 
• We need to trust a little more on him that when he actually has to go, he does go with us to the potty. He is getting a little resentful toward the potty and doesn't want to be forced to go. 
• We need to stay consistent and uplifting toward him. It is easy to lose enthusiasm as the days go on. When it's two steps forward and one step back, it is hard not to focus on the step back instead of how far we have come in such a short amount of time. 
• We let frustration get to us and weren't working as a parenting team on the same page. Once we kind of regrouped, it got better. Working as a team is ALWAYS the way to go. 

We are sticking with it. I really believe that he is ready and I have to keep reminding myself that it has only been a day and a half since we started. Potty training is a bit of a journey, but I hope to have him daytime trained by the end of this week. Let's be honest, I am not prepared to have 3 children in diapers, so we have a few months to get this right.

This week we are sticking to home. As soon as Calan starts asking me to go potty, we will venture out. I am hoping that maybe we will be able to go to our playgroup Wednesday morning since it is only 2 blocks from our house, but I'll figure that out once we get through Monday and Tuesday. I am taking it one day at a time.

I am proud of our little guy. He isn't thrilled about potty training, but he is doing it. This process hasn't been perfect and we are doing a lot of trial and error as parents, but we are doing it.

Here is the video that we watched in preparation for potty training;

Potty Training 1-2-3 from Growing Kids on Vimeo.

My little man with a big heart

There are many times a day that I am in awe of my children. I see all their little personality characteristics and intricacies and find them absolutely amazing.

I am obviously very a little bias.

Probably one of the things I love most about my kids are their tender hearts, especially when it comes to Calan.

Even at only 2 ½, Calan has the sweetest heart of any kid I know. He is genuinely concerned when another person is hurting physically or emotionally. I love hearing him console Maisie telling her not to worry or it's OK or even telling her to be patient when I am not fulling her demands fast enough.

He is the only toddler I know that gets teary-eyed at cartoons when the character is sad. (Seriously, this happens all the time.) He even tried to give "Santa" (my step-dad dressed up) presents instead of taking anything for himself.

He'll kiss any boo-boo to make you feel better. He worries when others are upset. I know that he pays close attention to other people's moods; he just knows how they are feeling. I can't explain it, but I know that he does and he always wants to make things better. He wants others to be happy because he is a happy kid.

Our little toddler genuinely cares and it melts my heart every day. His compassion comes so naturally that I know that it is a gift to be cherished (and I do).

I know that as his parents it is our job to make sure not to change, hinder, or alter this natural gift. I pray all the time that I am able to help him foster this tender heart of his in the right way.  I hope his compassion for others will help him do great things.

What can I say? I love him. Obviously.

The Big Christmas Reveal

It was Christmas Eve night and the big secret was about to be revealed. I was sitting on the edge of my seat feeling very assured that I was right. Pretty confident that what I thought was going to be was going to be. The vision I had in my head was going to be true. I have never felt more confident than I did at that moment. 

And then it was read,"I'M A GIRL!" And my face says it all ....

I was WRONG. I was completely in shock!

Let me explain, we had our 20-week ultrasound on December 10, but decided to hold off finding out if our baby was a boy or girl in the doctor's office. We decided to slip the big reveal into our family gift exchange. Only a few of the 24 people in the exchange knew that the reveal was all wrapped up and waiting to be opened. 

\

It took about 10 rounds before my husband's aunt choose THE package. I saw it get picked up and my heart jumped a little. For one quick second I thought to myself, what if she says it's a girl, but then I thought, nope, I know that I am having a boy. Our video camera of course decided not to work at that exact moment, so I was using my phone. I was holding it pretty steady until right before she read aloud. 

And then she said it. We are having a GIRL. Definitely a girl. Not a boy. Calan and Maisie are going to have a little sister. We are having a GIRL. My mind started racing and is still racing.  

I am still adjusting to the shock. I was so positive on what I was having during each of my pregnancies. I was right with Maisie and Calan. I was wrong this time. My thoughts and visions of what our family was going to be like are altered. I am very happy; I am just adjusting. I can not believe that we are going to have 2 girls in our house. I can't believe that Calan is going to be an older brother to 2 sisters. I just can't believe it. 

So our Christmas has been wonderful. I am reminded once again that life plans mean nothing when you are actually living your life. We loved sharing this special moment with family and now need to hunker down and figure out a beautiful girl name. We had a boy name ready to go. 

17 weeks till our newest angel arrives. 

Here is the video of the moment, but I kind of dropped the camera in the excitement, so it is all basically sound. You can hear how shocked we all were.

Treat your first like your second

Mother-2-Mother is a blogging series where I am sharing some advice that I tend to give friends when they ask. Take from it what you will. Parenting is a touchy subject. I am by no means telling you how to parent.

I think that I was pretty lucky that I knew that I was pregnant when Calan was only 4 months old. Basically, I had to start thinking of him as part of a sibling pair from the very start . He was never an only child in my eyes.

This, I believe, was a blessing in learning to parent and making the actual transition to 2 children. 

There is no way to actually prepare your child for a new brother or sister. You can read as many books as you want to him or her, but the fact is until their sibling is here, they have no idea what is in store. I mean, let's be honest, were you prepared for 2? I know I wasn't. I thought I was, but until that little bundle is here, no one can tell you what it is going to be like. 

Trust me, I know that no matter what you do, your first is always going to be treated a bit differently. It is hard not to give your undying attention to that little being that gives you so much joy and happiness. But, the more you think about your first already being a sibling, the more prepared he or she will be when a baby actually comes. 

It is OK to not jump every time your first cries. 

It is OK to let him play by himself for an extended period of time. 

It is OK to set a routine that works for you and not the other way around. 

It is OK to say "not now" when he wants to be held.

I know that in theory we all think these things are OK, but when your little one is crying or wanting to be held it is so hard to not just give in even though you were in the middle of doing something else. 

The fact is we only have 2 hands despite what our husbands (and the world) think. We can only do so much. So, set some presidence before your first is actually a sibling. The more you do early on, the easier it is later on. 

Of course, having my babies so close together, this topic was pretty easy to imagine because it was actually happening. It wasn't pretend. It was very real. But, I can see now why seeing Calan as a sibling from the very beginning was a true blessing. 

Here are some things that I did:

• Pack-and-play time (Independent playtime). I have mentioned this many times before, but it truly is a Godsend. Calan from about 6 months on played in his pack-and-play by himself where he could not see me. The key was him not seeing me. When Maisie was here, there were obviously times that I had to be somewhere else than there with Calan, but because not seeing me was normal by the time Maisie was here, there were no issues. 
• Not attachment parenting. My parenting style is directly different than attachment parenting. I love my children, but I do not, nor will I carry them consistently. Actually, both my kids are the biggest wiggle worms when be held and just want to get down. I know that other mothers swear by this style of parenting, but not me. I want my kids to be independent of me from a very early age. I don't know if I had worn Calan all the time if it would have made a difference when Maisie came, but from not doing it, I know that he was never jealous of her. 
• Sharing is caring. Make sure that you aren't giving into everything your child wants you to do. A sibling will not be that willing. I can already see Calan getting a bit bossy toward Maisie and we are working on it. Part of it is that she doesn't understand what Calan wants her to do, but for me, it is teaching Calan that he can't always have his way. I think firstborns are bossy for a reason. We give into a lot of the things they want to do. It is so easy to switch from reading a book to playing with a train to playing airplane when ever your child wants to. It isn't hurting anyone, so why not? Just remember that won't be true for a sibling. Even though Maisie doesn't care now when Calan takes one of her toys from her, she will soon enough, so being able to teach him early on that he can't have his way or that he has to share and wait his turn have been great life lessons at such an early age. 
• Not first-come, first serve. And remember, whatever you do with your first (special outings, birthday parties, blogs, etc.), you should be doing it for your second. My mom reminded me last year at Calan's first birthday that I would have to do it all again next year for Maisie. And it is so true, I can't make his first birthday so special without also doing it for Maisie. I already do not have a baby book for Maisie and never announced her birth in the newspaper. I also, rarely made Maisie's baby food and Calan rarely ate anythign canned. I know one day that will come back and be thrown in my face, but it reminds me that I need to do things for both all the time. 

Mother-2-Mother: You are your child's mother

I have had a few friends asking for a little advice lately, so I thought maybe it would be time for me to start my first series of blogs based on that very topic. I am not a perfect parent, nor do I have perfect children. Over the last year or two, I have just learned a few things that I'd like to share. I don't usually offer up advice unless a friend asks. I just have found a few things that I tend to repeat to my friends who are new mothers. Those things are what I am going to share in this blog series. Take from it what you will. Parenting is a touchy subject, so I am by no means telling you how to parent your child. So here is my first post:

You are Your Child's Mother

I truly believe that God gave me Calan and Maisie as a gift and that he is giving me the knowledge and guidance to be their mother. I am not any other child's mother. I do not know how to parent someone else's child. God did not bless me with someone else's child. I believe that I have the instincts and knowledge to be solely Calan and Maisie's mother.

We have natural instincts and nurturing abilities that are distinctly important to our children. You have to trust that you know how to be a parent to your child. A mother's intuition is nothing to laugh at. It is there and you have it.

I, of course, make mistakes all the time, but, I think, mistakes are necessary obstacles that help me get to where I need to be.

As a new mom, ask for help, advice, and parenting guidance. Let those who have done it help you, but remember that you know your child and what worked for someone else's child may not work for yours. It goes without saying that every child is distinctly different and you are a distinctly different mom. 

Why do I think this point is so important? Because it builds confidence.

If you believe that you know how to be your child's parent, than you can have confidence in the decisions you make for your child.

Every new mother worries. Every new parent wants the best for their child. Every child is a gift we don't want to screw up.

Have confidence that you are your child's mother and that you were designed specifically for that child.

Since this is my first time doing a series, please let me know how I am doing. Suggestions and advice and criticism would be greatly appreciated.  

Anything goes Thursday: Partner parenting

I remember telling Bob when I was pregnant with Calan in a pretty urgent, emotional, hormonal, crazy pregnant tone that I didn't want to be a stay-at-home mom who was afraid to leave her children home with her husband. While the thought was pretty irrational since I know Bob and knew that he would never be "that" type of dad, I still worried about me, my control issues, his passive issues, and how we would work as parents.

I love the father that my husband is to our children. I love that we are true partners when it comes to raising our children. He doesn't leave all decisions to me. He doesn't expect me to do everything. He doesn't expect our children to be perfect. He doesn't expect me to be anything more than I am. 

I think that we work so well as parents together because we realize without an us - our marriage, our husband and wife relationship - there is no us - our family, our happy home. 

Now, I know that many families know that and that I am not saying anything new here and that by saying it, I am not trying to say anything more than how happy I am that I have that. 

I was not raised in such a household because of many circumstances and I think when I told Bob in my urgent, emotional, hormonal, crazy pregnant tone that I was just afraid. I know how quickly things change and how quickly partner parents become solo parents. 

Last night we went out shopping and to eat and I just couldn't help but sit back and enjoy the fact that we can do those things and enjoy doing those things because we get to do them together. 

OK, enough kumbaya blogging. Have a good day!